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What's Cooking at the taverns?

AuthorMessage
Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
A gift for Bat Masterson, a Marzipan Map! It has the route to Corsair's Channel done in red frosting! Also a Focus Fish to help you keep your eyes on the course you are piloting and avoid bewitching spells of fire witches.

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
We were all so excited to be invited to the Trianon palace in Calabria to have dinner with the king. Musicians serenaded us. The place settings were golden, the drinks in fine crystal, the livery of the servers exquisite. The meal arrived on covered trays decorated by floral arrangements. We could barely wait as they lifted the lids and placed the bowls before us. The meal, April Gruel. It was like eating flour paste, but blander. Subodai and Iago raved about the meal for days, the rest of us couldn't wait to get back to the Kraken Skull Tavern.

Captain
Feb 12, 2015
682
Calamity Finch on Apr 2, 2019 wrote:
We were all so excited to be invited to the Trianon palace in Calabria to have dinner with the king. Musicians serenaded us. The place settings were golden, the drinks in fine crystal, the livery of the servers exquisite. The meal arrived on covered trays decorated by floral arrangements. We could barely wait as they lifted the lids and placed the bowls before us. The meal, April Gruel. It was like eating flour paste, but blander. Subodai and Iago raved about the meal for days, the rest of us couldn't wait to get back to the Kraken Skull Tavern.
WAHAHAHA! So, so funny! I love it! Send the leftovers to my newest enterprise: Budd and Buddy Compost Removal!

Captain
Feb 12, 2015
682
Lookit Light on Apr 2, 2019 wrote:
WAHAHAHA! So, so funny! I love it! Send the leftovers to my newest enterprise: Budd and Buddy Compost Removal!
Details of my new business:

Not currently hiring.

Small business that can run on low employees. Virtually one, in fact.

Run by a real bosun!

Effective compost disposal. You'd almost say it disappeared!

Meals are provided.

And, oh, there's one more element that's missing. Can you spot it?

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
Lookit Light on Apr 2, 2019 wrote:
WAHAHAHA! So, so funny! I love it! Send the leftovers to my newest enterprise: Budd and Buddy Compost Removal!
With joy, our crew floats the drippy Leftovers in a Bottle to Lookit Lights's ship. Bonnie Anne and the crazy Monquistan hold off, with sparkshooters, our complaining equine crew from retrieving it . That's right, even the monkey didn't want it! Mustang Sally had a mournfully long face as it floated away.

Captain
Feb 12, 2015
682
Calamity Finch on Apr 4, 2019 wrote:
With joy, our crew floats the drippy Leftovers in a Bottle to Lookit Lights's ship. Bonnie Anne and the crazy Monquistan hold off, with sparkshooters, our complaining equine crew from retrieving it . That's right, even the monkey didn't want it! Mustang Sally had a mournfully long face as it floated away.
Your bottle reached my ship. From there, I send it to Budd and Buddy's, and for the next couple of hours happy sound come from inside. They sound like... gulping.

Our manager always loves a good joke.

(Anyone spotted the missing element to Budd and Buddy's yet? There will be a surprise for the first one who guesses correctly!)

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
Burrito day was Thursday. In Santa Pollo, the ladies celebrated by cooking up a new snack that made up for the horses on the crew losing their April Gruel. They like it even better, and the rest of the crew likes it with hot sauce. Get your Burro-eat-os now!

Captain
Feb 12, 2015
682
Calamity Finch on Apr 4, 2019 wrote:
With joy, our crew floats the drippy Leftovers in a Bottle to Lookit Lights's ship. Bonnie Anne and the crazy Monquistan hold off, with sparkshooters, our complaining equine crew from retrieving it . That's right, even the monkey didn't want it! Mustang Sally had a mournfully long face as it floated away.
Wait a moment, why did the horses want that bland flower paste back if they despised it so much? Did they want to burn it or something?

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
Lookit Light on Apr 5, 2019 wrote:
Wait a moment, why did the horses want that bland flower paste back if they despised it so much? Did they want to burn it or something?
ONLY the equines liked the April Gruel. They raved about how good it was. The rest of us couldn't get it off the ship fast enough. Anytime the horses want some, they can go back to Calabria for more, but the rest of us refuse to have it aboard, because they tried to serve it to the rest of us for every meal. Mustang Sally, "Come on Ratbeard, just try some more, I'm sure you will grow to love it. Open your mouth, here comes the pirate ship into the channel." I will not repeat what Ratbeard said, enough to say the captain declares the food bad for crew morale. For the sake of your ship, I hope Budd ate it all quickly.

Captain
Feb 12, 2015
682
Calamity Finch on Apr 7, 2019 wrote:
ONLY the equines liked the April Gruel. They raved about how good it was. The rest of us couldn't get it off the ship fast enough. Anytime the horses want some, they can go back to Calabria for more, but the rest of us refuse to have it aboard, because they tried to serve it to the rest of us for every meal. Mustang Sally, "Come on Ratbeard, just try some more, I'm sure you will grow to love it. Open your mouth, here comes the pirate ship into the channel." I will not repeat what Ratbeard said, enough to say the captain declares the food bad for crew morale. For the sake of your ship, I hope Budd ate it all quickly.
Congrats! You found the missing element of Budd and Buddy's! You've won the grand prize: fifteen crates full of Bosun Budd's best starfish casserole! Whether or not you'll believe me, it's actually at least somewhat tasty, so long as he doesn't mix in a couple poisonous ones, or make it smell like him, or that one time where he had an upset stomach and he...

Ensign
Jul 15, 2018
16
Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
Lookit Light on Apr 8, 2019 wrote:
Congrats! You found the missing element of Budd and Buddy's! You've won the grand prize: fifteen crates full of Bosun Budd's best starfish casserole! Whether or not you'll believe me, it's actually at least somewhat tasty, so long as he doesn't mix in a couple poisonous ones, or make it smell like him, or that one time where he had an upset stomach and he...
Thanks. Old Scratch took one look at it, cast a spell turning it purple and green, with smoke, and ate, or maybe it was more of an absorbing of the stuff. He said, " Send me t'anks Captain. Much mojo it have." Fortunately, the crazy Monquistan never had a chance to try it. If he did, we might have had a purple ape the size of Scrimshaw's whale on our hands.

Captain
Feb 12, 2015
682
Calamity Finch on Apr 11, 2019 wrote:
Thanks. Old Scratch took one look at it, cast a spell turning it purple and green, with smoke, and ate, or maybe it was more of an absorbing of the stuff. He said, " Send me t'anks Captain. Much mojo it have." Fortunately, the crazy Monquistan never had a chance to try it. If he did, we might have had a purple ape the size of Scrimshaw's whale on our hands.
Ooo, a big big King Kong! Throw in a Humongofrog and we've got the dice rolling!

...rolling on how long it takes to wrestle it down, that is. Since we have no big monkey, and a Humongofrog, I'm cracking out the flaming cannonballs. Let's make some frog's legs!

Ensign
Mar 08, 2017
44
Lookit Light on Apr 5, 2019 wrote:
Your bottle reached my ship. From there, I send it to Budd and Buddy's, and for the next couple of hours happy sound come from inside. They sound like... gulping.

Our manager always loves a good joke.

(Anyone spotted the missing element to Budd and Buddy's yet? There will be a surprise for the first one who guesses correctly!)
its pickles. just pickles.

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
For the vegetarians on your crew, try Moose Moss. It's green. It's mossy, and the cows and horses like it too. The Moss Mousse dessert was less popular, though some liked it.

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
Now serving in Gallo Loco Cantina, Mayfly Pie. It's sure to be a huge hit with all the chickens on your crew.

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
It's new! It's improved! It's even more powerful!

Madam Vadima has cooked up a cauldron of Love Potion Number 10.

Oh no! Crazy Alvar, the Monquistan musketeer grabbed it and drank the whole batch. Watch out, Helpful Aurora Parker, he was looking at you! I suggest a long voyage by ship ASAP, and maybe a disguise, too. Everyone else might want to stay clear of Alvar as well, just in case.

Admiral
Nov 01, 2013
1413
Calamity Finch on Jun 10, 2019 wrote:
It's new! It's improved! It's even more powerful!

Madam Vadima has cooked up a cauldron of Love Potion Number 10.

Oh no! Crazy Alvar, the Monquistan musketeer grabbed it and drank the whole batch. Watch out, Helpful Aurora Parker, he was looking at you! I suggest a long voyage by ship ASAP, and maybe a disguise, too. Everyone else might want to stay clear of Alvar as well, just in case.
SIRL (Smiling In Real Life)! That was awesome.

*grimaces and sails far, far away*

*wishes there were a ship emoticon here*

Captain
Feb 12, 2015
682
Helpful Aurora Par... on Jun 10, 2019 wrote:
SIRL (Smiling In Real Life)! That was awesome.

*grimaces and sails far, far away*

*wishes there were a ship emoticon here*
AURORA.

WHAT DID YOU JUST DO.

You do realize sailing away in a nice ship is a bad idea when getting away? Especially if the ship looks nice! You're in trouble.

I happened to see a rinky-dinky raft sailing in as earnest a speed as possible, with a distinct whiff of funky banana salad. I hope Calamity Finch knows!

Admiral
Nov 01, 2013
1413
Lookit Light on Jun 11, 2019 wrote:
AURORA.

WHAT DID YOU JUST DO.

You do realize sailing away in a nice ship is a bad idea when getting away? Especially if the ship looks nice! You're in trouble.

I happened to see a rinky-dinky raft sailing in as earnest a speed as possible, with a distinct whiff of funky banana salad. I hope Calamity Finch knows!
Good gracious, you're right! What do I do? Uh... Uh... *docks at Cool Ranch and purchases a lighter, faster and swifter (and uglier) Ship and prepares for WAAAAR!!!*


Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
My crab hermit has thrown a Boomarang Banana snack at the monkey, which has retrieved him for our quest. I have asked the crab to turn Crazy Alvar back into a shell for safe keeping until the potion wears off, which it hasn't, yet. Madame Vadima does not mess around when she brews a potion. I might have to dig out a magic reversal hat from storage.

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
Red Hots are on the grill, and Throwin' the Cooler, snowball with mitt, is the dessert to cool you off; say hi to Hilts, the Cooler King.

Captain
Feb 12, 2015
682
Calamity Finch on Jul 20, 2019 wrote:
Red Hots are on the grill, and Throwin' the Cooler, snowball with mitt, is the dessert to cool you off; say hi to Hilts, the Cooler King.
Goronado bought the Red Hots, because he does better in a battle when he's in a huge temper.

Bonnie Anne bought a Cold Cut to share with Ratbeard, because she knows Ratbeard will cool down, at least a little.

Bosun Budd bought lots of Throwin' the Cooler and is taking the name seriously, which doesn't help either of them.

Petty Officer
Jul 28, 2011
65
Stop on in at the Inkwell Inn in the village of Carpathes! If you’re just looking for some good cooking, then you don’t have to spend the night (after all, it’s always nighttime in Darkmoor, isn’t it?) The dining room is open to everyone, and you can even snack on complimentary walnuts and roasted pumpkin seeds while you wait for your food!

And if you are spending the night, then you can look forward to your choice of hot porridge or sweet crepes with blackberries for breakfast! And of course, you can’t go wrong with a good cup of coffee. A great way to start the day- er, night? You know what I mean...

One of their more old-school delicacies at supper time is buffaloon bratwursts, imported from nearby Cool Ranch, served with sauerkraut and deviled eggs. They can be cooked well done, or extra-rare at one’s request- you never know when the local vampire clientele may want a bite. Once a month, they’ll even roast a whole wild boar on a spit out under the full moonlight! Man, can those werewolves eat...

And if you’re not a meat eater, that’s not a problem- a personal favorite comes in the form of a hearty stew made from a variety of vegetables, including eggplants, mushrooms, and even pumpkin, all served with a large crust of bread. Both vegetarians and the (usual) meat lovers alike all find themselves bewitched by what the Inkwell calls their Witch’s Brew Stew!

Feeling thirsty? Well, if Yum’s not your taste, than the Inkwell has a whole array of wines from vineyards on every bend of the Spiral. The local sommelier is a charming old lagooney who can tell you all about absolutely any kind of wine, all the way from Aquila to Avalon! And of course, a tart but sweet apple cider is available for the littl’uns.

For dessert, you can find two great classics- devil’s food cake with black cherries, and poisoned apple pie! (n-not actual poison, of course, just an expression. Gotta keep on that Darkmoor brand, y’know? That just means that there’s a healthy splash of wine in the pie filling! Do they love their wine in Darkmoor, or what?)

Admiral
Oct 27, 2009
1427
subata speaks on Jul 25, 2019 wrote:
Stop on in at the Inkwell Inn in the village of Carpathes! If you’re just looking for some good cooking, then you don’t have to spend the night (after all, it’s always nighttime in Darkmoor, isn’t it?) The dining room is open to everyone, and you can even snack on complimentary walnuts and roasted pumpkin seeds while you wait for your food!

And if you are spending the night, then you can look forward to your choice of hot porridge or sweet crepes with blackberries for breakfast! And of course, you can’t go wrong with a good cup of coffee. A great way to start the day- er, night? You know what I mean...

One of their more old-school delicacies at supper time is buffaloon bratwursts, imported from nearby Cool Ranch, served with sauerkraut and deviled eggs. They can be cooked well done, or extra-rare at one’s request- you never know when the local vampire clientele may want a bite. Once a month, they’ll even roast a whole wild boar on a spit out under the full moonlight! Man, can those werewolves eat...

And if you’re not a meat eater, that’s not a problem- a personal favorite comes in the form of a hearty stew made from a variety of vegetables, including eggplants, mushrooms, and even pumpkin, all served with a large crust of bread. Both vegetarians and the (usual) meat lovers alike all find themselves bewitched by what the Inkwell calls their Witch’s Brew Stew!

Feeling thirsty? Well, if Yum’s not your taste, than the Inkwell has a whole array of wines from vineyards on every bend of the Spiral. The local sommelier is a charming old lagooney who can tell you all about absolutely any kind of wine, all the way from Aquila to Avalon! And of course, a tart but sweet apple cider is available for the littl’uns.

For dessert, you can find two great classics- devil’s food cake with black cherries, and poisoned apple pie! (n-not actual poison, of course, just an expression. Gotta keep on that Darkmoor brand, y’know? That just means that there’s a healthy splash of wine in the pie filling! Do they love their wine in Darkmoor, or what?)
Sounds delicious, though the Poisoned Apple Pie is concerning. I think they also serve midnight breakfasts. I'll have the Vlad Moon Rising; I really hope that's razpberry sauce on the pancake. If I turn undead, you'll know why.