ValkoorTheVictorio... on Mar 24, 2014 wrote:

Some of you reading this just may want to refill your jug of Yum first! Don't say I didn't warn you.

What do you get when you combine Dead Mike and Old Scratch, with a vehicle used in hockey games?
- A Zom-boney

How does a Goose Disciple come up with new ideas?
- He uses his imaginEggShun

How does El Toro feel when he gets sick?
- Just Torobull.....ARRRRIBA!

If Monkey King was Santa Clause, how would he deliver the presents to all the good pirates of the Spiral?
- He'd use the Chimpney

How does Subodai like his orange juice?
- From Khan-centrate

What superhero vehicle do you get when you cross a Vampire Hero with a Crane Master?
- The Bat Wing

What's Wing Chun's most distinguishing feature?
- His Crane-ium

If a Goose Master, Froggo Villa and Madame Vadima had a picnic on the beach, what would they bring to eat?
- Egg Sal-ad Sand-witch

................................sorry, had to take a swig of my yum- that was even too dry for me

How does the Helephant Destroyer, 'rise' above his enemies?
- Using a Helevator

What do you call the only cornstalk in a field that produces just one cobb?
- Iago....you know, a Uni-corn Rogue

How do you respond yes to a Mustang Gypsy?
- You Nad-ya (Ok- that was bad too)

In what way would Lefty be like Catbeard vacationing in Antarctica?
- They'd both be South-paws

Where is Kobe Yojimbo's favorite place to shop?
- Barns and No Bull

What do you get when Corporal Sanders is allowed to roam freely around a ranch?
- Free Range Chicken

How does the Chicken Miner fetch water?
- In a buck-buck-bucket

What is the favorite treat of the Rat Brigand companion?
- Marsh-Milos

How does Kobe Yojimbo blend into his surroundings?
- With cam-moo-flage

What do you call a Christmastime Companion launched through the air?
- A Missile toad

What do you call a P101 starter house for a Water Mole Obeah?
- A Mormo Dormo

What do you get when a Chicken Lawman tosses a gear into a fire?
- Rooster Cog-burn

What do you call a tattoo of a Star Wars character, on Ninja Pig's lower leg?
- Shin-Obi

What is an Eagle Warrior Princess's favorite type of reading material?
- A maga-Zeena

What do you get when you cross Starbursts with fireballs?
- Burst Fire

What do you get when a hurricane hits a Samoorai armory?
- Blade Storm

What do you get when you combine bug spray with surfers?
- Repel Boarders

What do you get when someone name Joe repeatedly yells into a canyon?
- Mo-Joe Echo

What do you call an authentic Southern dish?
- True Grit(s)

Th-Th-Th-Th-Th.....That's All Folks!

ValkoorTheVictorio... on Mar 31, 2014 wrote:

Thank you Chrissy, I like that roguish grin part. And yes it is a particularly, perplexing part of my pituitary that produces practically perpetual and preposterous puns of positively plentiful proportions. It's appetite can not be satiated, so unfortunately for many- it is here to stay.

Thanks again for your always kind and supportive comments.

Sam Underhill on Apr 1, 2014 wrote:

After all that pickled herring, Catbeard had begun to have a weight issue. He went to the doctor, who prescribed a course of weight reducing pills. When Catbeard got back to the ship he started the treatment, but after two weeks he hadn't lost a single pound. That's when the doctor's bills began to arrive. It was clear that Catbeard was now a doc-billed fatty-puss.

Sam Underhill on Apr 1, 2014 wrote:

After all that pickled herring, Catbeard had begun to have a weight issue. He went to the doctor, who prescribed a course of weight reducing pills. When Catbeard got back to the ship he started the treatment, but after two weeks he hadn't lost a single pound. That's when the doctor's bills began to arrive. It was clear that Catbeard was now a doc-billed fatty-puss.

Golden Guardian on Apr 3, 2014 wrote:

Why did the pirate cross the ocean?
To get to the other tide

Why should you not let old scratch visit marleybone?
Cause dogs may chase him.

Where do you play with a marleybone puppy?
In the Isle of fetch.

Why did the mooshu tea trader get sad when visiting the new pet PvP place?
He thought it was best-tea-ya.

(Not really a joke) What does PvP stand for?
Player vs Player... Or is it Pirate vs Pirate... Pet vs Pet perhaps?

What do you call a bunch of lion pirates?
Scarr, Mufasarr, Simbarr!

Funny thought of the day for me- Napoleguin surfing in surfs up.

Sam Underhill on Apr 9, 2014 wrote:

As we all know, William Penn, founder of Pennsylvania, had two aunts - Sophia and Hattie. During the war, the price of pies skyrocketed at all the bakeries in town - so much so that only the rich could afford to buy them.

Sophia and Hattie were incensed that average folk could not afford to buy pies, so they used their own cooking skills to bake 100 pies a day - then sell them for three pennies less than the bakeries were charging. The bakeries caught on quick and lowered their prices so that all the people could afford to buy pies again.

And so it is to this day that we take off our hats to Sophia and Hattie - and the famous "Pie rates of Penn's aunts."

Sam Underhill on Apr 9, 2014 wrote:

While I would love to take credit for being clever (doesn't happen that often), this is just a retelling of an old standard. Same with the Catbeard joke, just reworded for here. Sorry to spoil everyone's perception of me as being funny, smart, witty, handsome, debonair...