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Valkoor, ye done it again!!!

AuthorMessage
Captain
Jun 26, 2010
734
I have to say me friend ye truly never cease to be victorious on yer achievements, I mean 6000 yars amazing it be I couldn't be more impressed by ye, I speak fer many to say well done on yet another accomplishment truly amazing, this does call for a toast *To Valkoor one of the greats we all be very proud of ye*.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
jack morgan933 on Jun 15, 2015 wrote:
I have to say me friend ye truly never cease to be victorious on yer achievements, I mean 6000 yars amazing it be I couldn't be more impressed by ye, I speak fer many to say well done on yet another accomplishment truly amazing, this does call for a toast *To Valkoor one of the greats we all be very proud of ye*.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan
Congratulations Valkoor . Looks like you are really trying to challenge Ratbeard's quote "There aren't enough yars in the world for Valkoor"

Commodore
May 31, 2009
873
*peers out from under rock*

Whaaaat? Another milestone? Sheesh. Can't get any rest around here, can we. Heheh, I'm kidding, of course. A big big congratulations to ya, Valkoor! It's no wonder you've collected that many yars with your wonderful sense of humor! Though you might have to throw some out soon; your ship looks to be sitting a bit low in the water...air...aether...whatever we sail on. Next mug o' Yum is on me, Sir Valkoor the Victorious!

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9898
A group of pirates gather by the secret door leading to the caves under Rake's Lagoon. The Crab speaks first.
"Are yeh sure we gots to tell her?"
A pretty vixen with a formidable rifle speaks up
"Aye, and we've volunteered ye to do the honors, so go in."
"Yeh know it's dangerous, she's training."
The skeleton interrupts
"Mon, She's been doing not'tin but de training since Aquila, go on, we be behind you."
The Horses and Centaur snicker. The Crab grins "Oh yeah?" then shouts "SMUGGLER'S ARENA!!"
( Much terrified whinnying and hoof stomping follow. )
The Rat growls, "Enough with the stallin', we'll all go in and tell her."
But when they enter the cavern, much to their surprise; they find their captain seated on a barrel, looking glum.
"Uh, Cap'n, what's the matter?"
" x sign x, what's the use of training when nothing is happening. The Spiral is at peace ( nearly ), even the war in Marleybone has reached an impasse."
"Well, cap'n we gots good news fer yeh."
Instantly brightening, she lifts her head with a manic grin on her face.
"The Armada is attacking?"
"uh, no nothing like that." Instant sorrow. She sighs
"But what's the news, then?"
"Valkoor the Victorious has reached 6000 yars."
"Then we need to celebrate such an achievement!"
"Yar! Lets break out the special yum, ye've been savin'"
"No I have a better idea, Let's do the Smuggler's Arena!"
( Much terrified whinnying and hoof stomping follow. )
Congratulations Valkoor!!!!!!!!!!!

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
jack morgan933 on Jun 15, 2015 wrote:
I have to say me friend ye truly never cease to be victorious on yer achievements, I mean 6000 yars amazing it be I couldn't be more impressed by ye, I speak fer many to say well done on yet another accomplishment truly amazing, this does call for a toast *To Valkoor one of the greats we all be very proud of ye*.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan
Honored and Unbelievably Grateful (or H.U.G)
.
In a land of pirates, where adventure and mystery abounds;
Surrounded by rats, foxes, cows, zombies, chickens and hounds.
Many friends I have made on this journey whilst raising up my swords;
But none I shall hold closer than you...the marauders of these boards.
.
To share a few laughs, a kind word and this amazing piratin' life,
While hunting the Armada and the truth amidst struggle and strife.
A band of fine brothers and sisters, both noble and so daring;
Some funny, some quirky, some witty-- but all quite kind and caring.
.
The day I found this pirate haven, is a day that I hold dear.
Fond memories of posts gone by brings a smile-- ear to ear.
Whether in a dungeon, a vessel or simply as words upon a screen,
My fellow pirates and friends are some of the greatest never seen.
.
To share a passion for the game and for life on these boards,
With so many amazing people, is a happy that can't be ignored.
I'm touched by your praises and appreciate the kindness and yars;
But 'tis each one of you that shines brighter than a Spiral full of stars.
.
I'll remember these moments and you my friends, till the ends of time;
Every post, the laughs, the written wonders, the kindness, every rhyme.
Each of you holds the key to defeating Kane and to your own future;
I don't know many words that rhyme with future, so I'll throw out suture.
.
I truly consider all of you my friends, comrades, amigos and my buds;
Though some of you think I look a bit ridiculous in green samoorai duds.
But that I can let slide and lay focus on the kindness you each bestow,
Despite years that pass, miles between-- your friendship I shall not let go.
.
So again I thank you all for taking the time to say a few kind words;
And to think there are some that feel the piratin' life is for the birds.
To those that may think this all a ruse, a show or just plain hot air;
As kindly as can be offered, "kiss Valkoor's green, samoorai dairy-erre!
(Just kidding, I love all you guys & gals, differences & all)

Bosun
Mar 04, 2012
308
Congrats valkoor and many more to come to ye

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
294
Sam dreamt he was swimming in an underground lake. Suddenly a force from below pulled him under and he found himself struggling to reach the surface. Looking down he saw an anchor chained to his foot pulling him further and further down. As he desperately tried to hold his breath and free himself his lungs finally gave out. He breathed in...

Sam awoke with a start, drenched in sweat. He sat up and found his cabin filled ankle deep in yars. From a wide crack in the decking above the yars continued to pour relentlessly. With the yars now knee deep, Sam tried to wade through the goodness to reach the door. The ooey wholesomeness slowed his movement, not unlike trudging through molasses. Waist deep, the yars began to pull him down - and still more rained from above. Sam reached for the door, only to pulled under the now neck deep mass of yars...

Sam awoke with a start, drenched in sweat. I have to stop eating Mooshu food just before bed. Sam looked at the letter notifying him of Valkoor's awesome achievement. No one person should hoard that many yars unto himself. It's was time to plan a raiding trip and redistribute those yars to the poor and unfortunate.

Aaaaghhhh! Sam woke with a start, the sound of the ship's bell still ringing in his ears.

"So Cap'n, have you figured out what to do about Valkoor yet?"

Sam just smiled evilly.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Sam Underhill on Jun 18, 2015 wrote:
Sam dreamt he was swimming in an underground lake. Suddenly a force from below pulled him under and he found himself struggling to reach the surface. Looking down he saw an anchor chained to his foot pulling him further and further down. As he desperately tried to hold his breath and free himself his lungs finally gave out. He breathed in...

Sam awoke with a start, drenched in sweat. He sat up and found his cabin filled ankle deep in yars. From a wide crack in the decking above the yars continued to pour relentlessly. With the yars now knee deep, Sam tried to wade through the goodness to reach the door. The ooey wholesomeness slowed his movement, not unlike trudging through molasses. Waist deep, the yars began to pull him down - and still more rained from above. Sam reached for the door, only to pulled under the now neck deep mass of yars...

Sam awoke with a start, drenched in sweat. I have to stop eating Mooshu food just before bed. Sam looked at the letter notifying him of Valkoor's awesome achievement. No one person should hoard that many yars unto himself. It's was time to plan a raiding trip and redistribute those yars to the poor and unfortunate.

Aaaaghhhh! Sam woke with a start, the sound of the ship's bell still ringing in his ears.

"So Cap'n, have you figured out what to do about Valkoor yet?"

Sam just smiled evilly.
I'm beginning to think that all Captain Sam does is sleep...he sure spends a lot of time dreaming and waking up. Somewhat surprising scores of spectacular & silly stories surrounding sneaky & sweaty, Spiral Snoozin' Sam seem so sufficiently & superfluously slathered somewhere safely and slyly, all over these sensational message boards-- sufferin' succotash, I say!

So, the crew basically runs themselves, whilst Sam dreams and drools-- cool, I like it, now that's Cap'n-ing!

Hey, wait a minute!

So, are you saying that I should expect something chained to my ankle soon? At least give me a chance to put my softest, fuzziest socks on...those chains hurt! Actually I already have two babies, so I'm used to dragging around dead weight attached my feet-- it's a good work out, helps round out the glutes. Squeeze and drag, squeeze and drag......

Or wait, are you planning on force feeding me some of that MooShu food? Once again, I have twin babies, so I'm used to eating stuff that looks already grazed upon. I get left whatever they only partially consume off of my plate-- yep, got the stomach of an iron bovine, I do.

Now if it's molasses related, I don't stand a chance. Never could handle that stuff.

Oh for holy heaven's sake, I sure hope your are not planning on doing anything 'bell related'. I will cave mercifully if you chain my ankles, feed me MooShu food and make me drink molasses, all while listening to 'Ring My Bell' for hours on end. Now that is evil at the highest level and should never even be spoken of. I'll surely crack like the stain glass windows of St. Fido's church, upon Ratbeard hitting a high note. If that's my punishment, I'll gladly surrender all yars to the needy and hapless.

I anxiously await my dose of evil.

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
294
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jun 19, 2015 wrote:
I'm beginning to think that all Captain Sam does is sleep...he sure spends a lot of time dreaming and waking up. Somewhat surprising scores of spectacular & silly stories surrounding sneaky & sweaty, Spiral Snoozin' Sam seem so sufficiently & superfluously slathered somewhere safely and slyly, all over these sensational message boards-- sufferin' succotash, I say!

So, the crew basically runs themselves, whilst Sam dreams and drools-- cool, I like it, now that's Cap'n-ing!

Hey, wait a minute!

So, are you saying that I should expect something chained to my ankle soon? At least give me a chance to put my softest, fuzziest socks on...those chains hurt! Actually I already have two babies, so I'm used to dragging around dead weight attached my feet-- it's a good work out, helps round out the glutes. Squeeze and drag, squeeze and drag......

Or wait, are you planning on force feeding me some of that MooShu food? Once again, I have twin babies, so I'm used to eating stuff that looks already grazed upon. I get left whatever they only partially consume off of my plate-- yep, got the stomach of an iron bovine, I do.

Now if it's molasses related, I don't stand a chance. Never could handle that stuff.

Oh for holy heaven's sake, I sure hope your are not planning on doing anything 'bell related'. I will cave mercifully if you chain my ankles, feed me MooShu food and make me drink molasses, all while listening to 'Ring My Bell' for hours on end. Now that is evil at the highest level and should never even be spoken of. I'll surely crack like the stain glass windows of St. Fido's church, upon Ratbeard hitting a high note. If that's my punishment, I'll gladly surrender all yars to the needy and hapless.

I anxiously await my dose of evil.
"Remind me, Cap'n, why is it we're roaming these sewers?"
"Valkoor stores a vast quantity of his yars in a warehouse near here. Clever, hiding them in Port Regal."
"So we are..."
"Going to come up through the sewers, remove the yars, then give them to poor and needy orphans with nothing but soggy socks to their names."
"If'n you think I'm going to check the socks of every orphan..."
"The tricky part will moving all the yars. I hope they're in boxes."
"You do realize there's only four of us?"
"Hmmm... we'll have to make two trips."
"Cap'n, did you even consider just asking Valkoor if he'd give away his yars?"
"----"
"Sorry, what was I thinking?"
"Here, I think this is the right ladder. Drat, the hatchway is locked."
"I think I heard someone coming..."
"The peelers! That wretched do-gooder has called the cops!"
"Don't you think our time would be better spent doing somthing else? Anything else? Like fighting the Armada maybe?"
"All right, we'll come back after dark. No, wait a minute, knowing Valkoor, he'll have moved the yars by then. It's now or never!"
"Cap'n, I can't believe I'm saying this, but you need some sleep. When's the last time you had a full night's rest?"
"I don't know, when's the last time you guys didn't wake me up in the middle of the night for no good reason?"
"He has a point, you know."
"Cap'n, Valkoor has a full right to every yar he has. He earned them fair and square. Besides, what would the orphans do with them?"
"But..."
"We're going back to the ship now, Cap'n."
"But..."
"You grab the right arm, I've got the left."
"But..."
"We're just going walkies for a bit, Cap'n. Then you and your Teddy can have a nice afternoon nap."
"But..."
"No buts, here we go. Great, here's the cops. Talk us through."
"Evening gents, we're just... leaving the sewers."
"Yar, we're not pirates at all."
"Smooth."
"Thankee."

Admiral
Jul 27, 2012
1196
(As Anne struggles out of a gigantic mountain of fabric, pins, laces, hooks & eyes, needles, thread, trims, and whatnot... blinks in astonishment at the light of day, and slowly cottons on to what has been going on...)

Congratulations, Valkoor! I do indeed enjoy your funny, witty, informative and all-around delightful posts!

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Anne Radcliffe on Jun 24, 2015 wrote:
(As Anne struggles out of a gigantic mountain of fabric, pins, laces, hooks & eyes, needles, thread, trims, and whatnot... blinks in astonishment at the light of day, and slowly cottons on to what has been going on...)

Congratulations, Valkoor! I do indeed enjoy your funny, witty, informative and all-around delightful posts!
Hello Anne, are you swimming in Ratbeard's costume closet again? Nice to see you posting again and that you were finally afforded enough time to come up for air and breathe again.

Thank you for taking the time to dig yourself out of the clothing chaos to share some kind words. Now I better let you dive back into your artwork-- just don't forget to breathe!