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Retopic: Food Fight!

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AuthorMessage
Bosun
Dec 21, 2009
396
Hey guys, I remember a topic from a while ago where people would make up silly weapons made from food, like corndog nunchucks and cupcake grenades.
It's been a while, so I wondere if there are any new fatal foodstuffs brewing in anyone's minds.
So, any dangerous dishes?

Admiral
Jun 02, 2013
1465
Candy Cane Casks!

Explosive Casks made out of the sugary treat itself, just don't break it or Santa will have a surprise for you! Oh boy yes he will!
Place the explosive casks near your enemy and ignite!

Commodore
Sep 20, 2009
946
Poutine Poniard,

A small deadly, dagger made of a french fry, covered in cheese curds and dripping in gravy.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9246
A sharpened disc of pizza or pizza slice daggers from the guards of the Tower of Pizza!
Pizza, Pizza!

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
As a privateer in my first Pirate slot I am inspired a bit by her much used boosts. Parrots launch and instead of pooping on their target they drop liquid chocolate. Then the golden eggs show up and explode with cotton candy chicken feathers that poof everywhere and nicely adhere to that ooey gooey chocolate. The target is so distracted trying to slurp themselves clean that they forget to take their next turn.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9246
CdeWinter on Jan 22, 2017 wrote:
Poutine Poniard,

A small deadly, dagger made of a french fry, covered in cheese curds and dripping in gravy.
Oh my heart ( attack )! Though it sounds as delicious as it's deadly.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9246
Something to wash all this food down with: rifles that fire hot coffee ( oooH, the burn! )

Bosun
Dec 21, 2009
396
Stromboli Smasher!
A giant hammer made out of this delicious dish, and - even better - it can be filled with pepperoni or sausage or even bacon alongside the cheese!

Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2012
157
I'm feeling strangely hungry all of a sudden...

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9246
Seasonal weapon: a Huge Turkey Leg ( Smashy weapon )

Lieutenant
Aug 19, 2011
162
They all sound fatally delicious - now I must join the fray.

French Fry shurikens! and...

An Ice cream cannon: a large cone that shoots out large scoops of hard ice cream.

Now to come up with some magical food weapons...

Lieutenant
Aug 19, 2011
162
Just thought of one:

a Sandwich Grimoire: a sandwich put together like a book. Used to summon sandwich contents to throw at enemies. Can also be used to summon chips.

Admiral
Jun 02, 2013
1465
Sure all you guys have a weapon, but can you withstand a blow from one?

Behold my mighty chestplate, Onion Rings Chainmail!

Petty Officer
Aug 13, 2012
92
It would be cool if they start selling food weapons on thanksgiving.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Such fun and awesome ideas, everyone!

How about a whole lineup of juggernaut jerky...tailored towards each class!?! (bonus poem included!!!)

Murky Jerky From electric mojo beams...this wiggly weapon screams!
Lurky Jerky When twilight shadows draw nigh...this meat doth fly!
Quirky Jerky Quite an explosive scene...tis this stick o' protein!
Perky Jerky After a quick munch...this boosting fare packs a punch!
Berserky Jerky With unrelenting force...this beef hits like a horse!

The animations for all of these weapons would, uh...how can I say this-- be a bit herky-jerky, with each class of pirate sinking it's teeth into the stretchy stick of scrumptious satisfaction. Then the pirate would keep hold of the other end and then somewhat painfully pull back it's head-- thus putting some serious tension on that tasty, not-so-tender treat. Just when the enemy thinks your pirate is about to lose a few chompers....THWACKKK!!!...teeth and jaws give way and the jerky whips up a devastating snack attack.

These weapons would surely beef up any pirate's arsenal and really stick it to any enemy you may meat...er, I mean meet! It's the weapon that bites back!!

Lieutenant
Dec 30, 2012
157
witchdoctor daruis on Jan 25, 2017 wrote:
Sure all you guys have a weapon, but can you withstand a blow from one?

Behold my mighty chestplate, Onion Rings Chainmail!
You can also pluck one off to munch on whenever your feeling a little peckish. Course then you would expose yourself to the enemies' blows but... oh well! After all, you can't hardly fight on an empty stomach, right?

Captain
Jun 26, 2010
733
How about Ramon Noodle Whips with Poisonous Secret Sauce... Ouch that will leave a Mark.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan

- Deadeye Edward Morgan

Captain
Jun 26, 2010
733
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 25, 2017 wrote:
Such fun and awesome ideas, everyone!

How about a whole lineup of juggernaut jerky...tailored towards each class!?! (bonus poem included!!!)

Murky Jerky From electric mojo beams...this wiggly weapon screams!
Lurky Jerky When twilight shadows draw nigh...this meat doth fly!
Quirky Jerky Quite an explosive scene...tis this stick o' protein!
Perky Jerky After a quick munch...this boosting fare packs a punch!
Berserky Jerky With unrelenting force...this beef hits like a horse!

The animations for all of these weapons would, uh...how can I say this-- be a bit herky-jerky, with each class of pirate sinking it's teeth into the stretchy stick of scrumptious satisfaction. Then the pirate would keep hold of the other end and then somewhat painfully pull back it's head-- thus putting some serious tension on that tasty, not-so-tender treat. Just when the enemy thinks your pirate is about to lose a few chompers....THWACKKK!!!...teeth and jaws give way and the jerky whips up a devastating snack attack.

These weapons would surely beef up any pirate's arsenal and really stick it to any enemy you may meat...er, I mean meet! It's the weapon that bites back!!
Yarrr, Clever use of Wordplay me Brother, I too be a big Jerky Fan.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan

- Deadeye Edward Morgan

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9246
This isn't exactly a food weapon:
Candy Heart staff ( looks like a short wand ) fires an attack ( like mojo echo ) but instead of sparks a shower of cinnamon candy hearts bombard the enemy.
( Can you tell which holiday inspired this? )

Commodore
Sep 20, 2009
946
anecorbie on Feb 8, 2017 wrote:
This isn't exactly a food weapon:
Candy Heart staff ( looks like a short wand ) fires an attack ( like mojo echo ) but instead of sparks a shower of cinnamon candy hearts bombard the enemy.
( Can you tell which holiday inspired this? )
Burns' Night? The feast of Saint George? Candlemas!?

Admiral
Jul 07, 2013
1124
anecorbie on Jan 22, 2017 wrote:
A sharpened disc of pizza or pizza slice daggers from the guards of the Tower of Pizza!
Pizza, Pizza!
I believe the ninja turtles used these. Are they from Mooshu? Only time will tell.

Virtuous Dante Ramsey

Admiral
Jul 07, 2013
1124
For Catbeard's next promotion he should attack with Lutefisk which causes poison LOL

Virtuous Dante Ramsey

Admiral
Jul 07, 2013
1124
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 25, 2017 wrote:
Such fun and awesome ideas, everyone!

How about a whole lineup of juggernaut jerky...tailored towards each class!?! (bonus poem included!!!)

Murky Jerky From electric mojo beams...this wiggly weapon screams!
Lurky Jerky When twilight shadows draw nigh...this meat doth fly!
Quirky Jerky Quite an explosive scene...tis this stick o' protein!
Perky Jerky After a quick munch...this boosting fare packs a punch!
Berserky Jerky With unrelenting force...this beef hits like a horse!

The animations for all of these weapons would, uh...how can I say this-- be a bit herky-jerky, with each class of pirate sinking it's teeth into the stretchy stick of scrumptious satisfaction. Then the pirate would keep hold of the other end and then somewhat painfully pull back it's head-- thus putting some serious tension on that tasty, not-so-tender treat. Just when the enemy thinks your pirate is about to lose a few chompers....THWACKKK!!!...teeth and jaws give way and the jerky whips up a devastating snack attack.

These weapons would surely beef up any pirate's arsenal and really stick it to any enemy you may meat...er, I mean meet! It's the weapon that bites back!!
Ok. This is a-mazing!

Virtuous Dante Ramsey

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9246
CdeWinter on Feb 9, 2017 wrote:
Burns' Night? The feast of Saint George? Candlemas!?
Ooh! Burn's Night! A bagpipe that hurls flaming Haggis bombs!

Gunner's Mate
Oct 22, 2015
223
Boiled spinach will cause everyone in the room to spontaneously die of disgust without you breaking a sweat.

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