Pirate101 Jokes!

1
AuthorMessage
Admiral
Nov 01, 2013
1345
Hey there! I was just posting back on Darkmoordude's topic, "What I Think of the Place In Falmea Thursday" and I made a little joke about Marco Pollo. I was wondering... does anybody want to post their own jokes here?

I will do a few first.

  1. Q: Why was El Toro's shirt ripped?
A: Because he El Tore'o it apart!

2. Q: Why was the Mount, the Citrine Ankylosaur, not feeling well?

A: Because he broke his Ankle'osaur!

3. Q: Why was the Companion, Fan Flanders, being used to cool someone's forehead?

A: Because she was being used as a Fan!

4. Q: Why are Pirates so smart?

A: Because they know the sequence of Pi!

5. Q: What's a Pet chameleon's favorite kind of tea?

A: Chamomile tea!

6. Q: What kind of ship is saying bye to a relative?

A: The Bison ship! (Bison, bye son, get it?)

7. Q: What statue in Pirate101 does monologues?

A: The 50 Million Monolith!

8. Q: What World of the Spiral gives you keys?

A: Monquista!

9. Q: Which World of the Spiral has a quill?

A: Aquila!

10. Q: Which World of the Spiral has eyes?

A: Skull Island! (Is on island is pronounced like "eye".)


So, there you have it: ten cute little jokes for examples. Now you give it your shot!

Thanks and Good Hunting,

- The Dashing Swashbuckler, a.k.a. Helpful Aurora Parker, Level 26 Swashbuckler

Admiral
Jul 07, 2013
1124
Where is Valkoor? He could so rock this thing!

Virtuous Dante Ramsey

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9079
Helpful Aurora Par... on Apr 14, 2016 wrote:
Hey there! I was just posting back on Darkmoordude's topic, "What I Think of the Place In Falmea Thursday" and I made a little joke about Marco Pollo. I was wondering... does anybody want to post their own jokes here?

I will do a few first.

  1. Q: Why was El Toro's shirt ripped?
A: Because he El Tore'o it apart!

2. Q: Why was the Mount, the Citrine Ankylosaur, not feeling well?

A: Because he broke his Ankle'osaur!

3. Q: Why was the Companion, Fan Flanders, being used to cool someone's forehead?

A: Because she was being used as a Fan!

4. Q: Why are Pirates so smart?

A: Because they know the sequence of Pi!

5. Q: What's a Pet chameleon's favorite kind of tea?

A: Chamomile tea!

6. Q: What kind of ship is saying bye to a relative?

A: The Bison ship! (Bison, bye son, get it?)

7. Q: What statue in Pirate101 does monologues?

A: The 50 Million Monolith!

8. Q: What World of the Spiral gives you keys?

A: Monquista!

9. Q: Which World of the Spiral has a quill?

A: Aquila!

10. Q: Which World of the Spiral has eyes?

A: Skull Island! (Is on island is pronounced like "eye".)


So, there you have it: ten cute little jokes for examples. Now you give it your shot!

Thanks and Good Hunting,

- The Dashing Swashbuckler, a.k.a. Helpful Aurora Parker, Level 26 Swashbuckler
Here's an old joke I once heard about a pirate, it really should be performed live, so I'll include the actions:
A man traveling in Barbados walks into a bar and sees a man who looks like a pirate.
He was wearing a poufy shirt ( gesture to clothes )
He had an eye patch ( close one eye )
One leg ( stand on one leg )
And a hook ( close a fist but hold out 2 fingers as a hook. )
The traveler approaches the man and says
"May I ask you a question?"
"Arrr, lad, fire away. " ( doing your best impression of a pirate voice. )
"Are you a pirate?"
"Aye, that I be."
"How did you lose your leg?"
"It was a mutiny, it was, me men threw me overboard and a shark swam by and bit it off." ( make swimming motions, form "jaws" with hands and imitate a snap with the jaws. )
"Oh, my that's terrible! And how did you lose your hand?"
"We was boarded by other pirates and as I was running the last man through with me cutlass, he cut off me hand." ( imitate chopping motion. )
"How horrible, my goodness, mutinies and pirates! But how did you lose the eye?"
"Bird poop."
"Excuse me?"
"Bird poop, it was me first day with me hook." ( imitate wiping eye with hook. )
I performed that for a group of pre-teens, who loved it. In fact, one girl made me tell it to her several times so she could remember and tell it to her friends.

Commodore
May 31, 2009
873
Not all of these are strictly Pirate101 related but my repertoire of really bad jokes is quite expansive.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.

What do ye call a marauder that loves mathematics? A πrate.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey.

What's a pirate's favorite part of the Marleybonian military? The Arrrrrmy? No, of course not! Don't be ridiculous; it's the Navy!

What do ye call it when a pirate fights with his wife? An arrrrrrgument.

A pirate walks into the Kraken Skulls with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Oi, what're ye doin' with that towel?" "Arr," the pirate replies, "I've got a bounty on me head!"

Why couldn't Ratbeard, Bonnie Anne, and El Toro play cards? The captain was standing on the deck.

What kind of ships do pirates have the most trouble with? Relationships.

What goes "thump-thump-ARRGH-thump-thump-ARR"? A pirate falling down the stairs.

What do ye get when ye mix a pirate and a zucchini? A squashbuckler.

Ehhh I might think of more later.

Lieutenant
Aug 19, 2011
162
Q: Why are Pirates so popular?

A: They just arrre!

This was a joke from an old video game I still play. It's one of those jokes that are so funny because it's so bad.

...Right?

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
293
What is a pirate's favorite move in basketball?

A Hook Shot

Administrator
MistyDragon13 on Apr 14, 2016 wrote:
Not all of these are strictly Pirate101 related but my repertoire of really bad jokes is quite expansive.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.

What do ye call a marauder that loves mathematics? A πrate.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey.

What's a pirate's favorite part of the Marleybonian military? The Arrrrrmy? No, of course not! Don't be ridiculous; it's the Navy!

What do ye call it when a pirate fights with his wife? An arrrrrrgument.

A pirate walks into the Kraken Skulls with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Oi, what're ye doin' with that towel?" "Arr," the pirate replies, "I've got a bounty on me head!"

Why couldn't Ratbeard, Bonnie Anne, and El Toro play cards? The captain was standing on the deck.

What kind of ships do pirates have the most trouble with? Relationships.

What goes "thump-thump-ARRGH-thump-thump-ARR"? A pirate falling down the stairs.

What do ye get when ye mix a pirate and a zucchini? A squashbuckler.

Ehhh I might think of more later.
"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C."

That one's so good it should be on a T-shirt!

*One-Eyed Jack, Your Pirate101 Community Manager*
Gunner's Mate
Dec 26, 2013
214
Why did General Tso's chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side - duh!

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9079
MistyDragon13 on Apr 14, 2016 wrote:
Not all of these are strictly Pirate101 related but my repertoire of really bad jokes is quite expansive.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.

What do ye call a marauder that loves mathematics? A πrate.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey.

What's a pirate's favorite part of the Marleybonian military? The Arrrrrmy? No, of course not! Don't be ridiculous; it's the Navy!

What do ye call it when a pirate fights with his wife? An arrrrrrgument.

A pirate walks into the Kraken Skulls with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Oi, what're ye doin' with that towel?" "Arr," the pirate replies, "I've got a bounty on me head!"

Why couldn't Ratbeard, Bonnie Anne, and El Toro play cards? The captain was standing on the deck.

What kind of ships do pirates have the most trouble with? Relationships.

What goes "thump-thump-ARRGH-thump-thump-ARR"? A pirate falling down the stairs.

What do ye get when ye mix a pirate and a zucchini? A squashbuckler.

Ehhh I might think of more later.
Squashbuckler - that's my favorite by farrrr!

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
293
What did the Pirate on Wheel of Fortune say?

I’d like to buy an Aye!

Admiral
Jul 07, 2013
1124
anecorbie on Apr 14, 2016 wrote:
Here's an old joke I once heard about a pirate, it really should be performed live, so I'll include the actions:
A man traveling in Barbados walks into a bar and sees a man who looks like a pirate.
He was wearing a poufy shirt ( gesture to clothes )
He had an eye patch ( close one eye )
One leg ( stand on one leg )
And a hook ( close a fist but hold out 2 fingers as a hook. )
The traveler approaches the man and says
"May I ask you a question?"
"Arrr, lad, fire away. " ( doing your best impression of a pirate voice. )
"Are you a pirate?"
"Aye, that I be."
"How did you lose your leg?"
"It was a mutiny, it was, me men threw me overboard and a shark swam by and bit it off." ( make swimming motions, form "jaws" with hands and imitate a snap with the jaws. )
"Oh, my that's terrible! And how did you lose your hand?"
"We was boarded by other pirates and as I was running the last man through with me cutlass, he cut off me hand." ( imitate chopping motion. )
"How horrible, my goodness, mutinies and pirates! But how did you lose the eye?"
"Bird poop."
"Excuse me?"
"Bird poop, it was me first day with me hook." ( imitate wiping eye with hook. )
I performed that for a group of pre-teens, who loved it. In fact, one girl made me tell it to her several times so she could remember and tell it to her friends.
I laughed so loud I woke up the people upstairs.....

Virtuous Dante Ramsey

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
293
Sam decided one day to test Milo's sailing knowledge. So next time Milo was standing watch, Sam asked, "Hypothetically, what would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard side?"

“Why, I'd throw out an anchor, Cap'n.”

And what would you do if another storm sprang up aft?”

“I’d throw out another anchor, Cap'n.”

“And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?”

“Throw out another anchor, Cap'n."

“Hold on,” said Sam. “Where are you getting all these anchors from?”

Milo smiled mischievously. “From the same place you’re getting all those storms, Cap'n.”

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6211
One-Eyed Jack on Apr 15, 2016 wrote:
"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C."

That one's so good it should be on a T-shirt!
I would buy that shirt.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6211
MistyDragon13 on Apr 14, 2016 wrote:
Not all of these are strictly Pirate101 related but my repertoire of really bad jokes is quite expansive.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.

What do ye call a marauder that loves mathematics? A πrate.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Aye Matey.

What's a pirate's favorite part of the Marleybonian military? The Arrrrrmy? No, of course not! Don't be ridiculous; it's the Navy!

What do ye call it when a pirate fights with his wife? An arrrrrrgument.

A pirate walks into the Kraken Skulls with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Oi, what're ye doin' with that towel?" "Arr," the pirate replies, "I've got a bounty on me head!"

Why couldn't Ratbeard, Bonnie Anne, and El Toro play cards? The captain was standing on the deck.

What kind of ships do pirates have the most trouble with? Relationships.

What goes "thump-thump-ARRGH-thump-thump-ARR"? A pirate falling down the stairs.

What do ye get when ye mix a pirate and a zucchini? A squashbuckler.

Ehhh I might think of more later.
Quite expansive and extremely funny

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6211
anecorbie on Apr 15, 2016 wrote:
Squashbuckler - that's my favorite by farrrr!
I am still snickering over the "Bounty" one.

Gunner's Mate
Dec 26, 2013
214
Q: Whaddaya call all those birds from Aruba?

A: Parrots of the Caribbean

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
293
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?

A nervous wreck!

Captain
Dec 06, 2012
533
Okay thanks for the mention and this is mine ( It's not really a joke but something funny )

Jacob: Hey, Kendrick! want to hear a funny joke?
Kendrick: I don't understand
Jacob: What did you say?
Kendrick: I don't understand
Jacob: You don't understand what?
Kendrick: Eh... I almost understood that.
Jacob: Can you even hear me?
Kendrick: I don't understand
Jacob: Sigh... *Walks off*
Kendrick: *Takes off headphones* What were you saying, Jacob?

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9079
What do you call a platoon of Armada soldiers at the bottom of the sea?

A good start.

Gunner's Mate
Dec 26, 2013
214
Q:How many Monquistans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: All of them you gangly giant.

Ensign
Mar 21, 2014
43
I have a few:

1. What do you call the first ceramics firing? A Louis LeBisque firing. (The actual firing is called a Bisque firing so thats why.)

2. Why are swasbhucklers so popular? Because they have Fans.

3. What game did Commander Emmett starr in? Grand Theft Otter

4. What movie did Emmett starr in? Harry Otter

5. What did the Sheriff say to Yohr? Yohr under arrest.

6. When Barnabus enrolled in Hogwarts, what house was he put in? Slotherin

7. What political party is Catbeard in? Democats

8. What did everyone say to Duck Holliday during Christmas? Happy Holliday

9. What did Wild Bill Peacock say to Jane Canary? I gotta go pay my Bills.

10. Why does nobody visit Grizzleheim? Because they can't bear to see it.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9079
Musteatsoup on May 3, 2016 wrote:
I have a few:

1. What do you call the first ceramics firing? A Louis LeBisque firing. (The actual firing is called a Bisque firing so thats why.)

2. Why are swasbhucklers so popular? Because they have Fans.

3. What game did Commander Emmett starr in? Grand Theft Otter

4. What movie did Emmett starr in? Harry Otter

5. What did the Sheriff say to Yohr? Yohr under arrest.

6. When Barnabus enrolled in Hogwarts, what house was he put in? Slotherin

7. What political party is Catbeard in? Democats

8. What did everyone say to Duck Holliday during Christmas? Happy Holliday

9. What did Wild Bill Peacock say to Jane Canary? I gotta go pay my Bills.

10. Why does nobody visit Grizzleheim? Because they can't bear to see it.
Thanks for the giggles - here's one in reply to #7:

7. That makes Ratbeard a Ratpublican! ( and may be a good reason why CB & RB don't get along! )

Ensign
Mar 21, 2014
43
anecorbie on May 3, 2016 wrote:
Thanks for the giggles - here's one in reply to #7:

7. That makes Ratbeard a Ratpublican! ( and may be a good reason why CB & RB don't get along! )
Haha makes sense

Gunner's Mate
May 17, 2015
209
A privateer and his first mate Tonka were having a private conversation
The Marchioness called out to the pair "Capitan, there are some Monquistan assassins here to capture me
The captain didn't hear properly and in reply he said go away its Private 'ere

Ensign
Mar 21, 2014
43
Here's more:

1. What do you call a Barnabus stuck in a farmhouse? A BARN-abus

2. When Duck Holliday was being shot at, what did the others yell? Duck

3. How do you say Nanu Nanu in Mathmatics? Nanu²

4. What do you call a bunch of horses that are crazy? The Wild Bunch

5. Which cyclops is a pirate's favorite? Arrrrgos

6. When Sarah can't get something, what does she do? She Steeles

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