Moohemian Rhapsody

AuthorMessage
Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
Ok, so I woke up this morning and thought that it was time for another song (yep, that's how it works for me sometimes). So, next time you pirates are beating up on poor ol' Moo Manchu in his Tower, just picture him woefully singing this tune. (if unfamiliar with it just check out Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody)

Moohemian Rhapsody
Is this my new life,
Where is the milk & cheese?
Caught in this towah,
No escape from the piracy!
...
Hoping my eyes,
wake me from this bad dream.
I'm just a bovine, show me some sympathy.
Because it's pirates come, pirates go-
Beating me, to and fro!
Every day the hurt grows, nothings really sadder to me...to-oo me.
...
Mama, just iced a man-
Frozen Tide against his crew,
but he'll soon thaw, then what to do?
Mama, your calf is ooon the run.
So I'll leave you with an Infernal Wave.
...
Mamaaa, moo-ooo-ooo-ooh!
They'll keep fighting till ninja pigs fly.
And they'll be back this time tomorrow-
Surely they'll, carry on- like a cow's feelings never mattered.
...
Oh greaaat! Here they cooome!
More shivers for this bovine,
Hooves are aching all the time.
Goodbye Terra Cottas, I'll miss you so-
but I'll leave my Masque behind and my robes toooo.
...
Mamaaa, moo-ooo-ooo-ooh! (All the time my fear grows)
I am gonna cry...
I sometimes wish I took that job at the mall!
...
<dun, dun, dun, dun, dun...(or however you spell music rapidly getting faster)>
...
I see a little silhouetto, HOLY COW!
Scaredy Moo! Scaredy Moo! And it has a pet Fandango!
Mojo Bolt, Chain Lightning-
Udderly frightening, to me!
Terra Cotta, Staff of Powah!
Terra Cotta, Staff of Powah!
Sara, Milo! And El Toro!
And Goro, NO-OO-OO!
...
I'm just a slab of beef, nobody loves me.
He's just a poor cow, a big bag of dairy-
Spare ribs on hooves, lacking all velocity!
...
Cheesy cow, cheesy moo. Should we let him go?
Please Moodha! NOOO! We will not let you go! (Let me moo!)
Please Moodha! Never let you moo! (Let me go!)
Please Moodha! Never let you go! (Let me moo!)
We'll not let you moo! (Let me go!)
Never, never let you go!
Never let me go moo!
No, go! No, go! No, moo for you!
...
Oh mama moo-a, papa moo-a! (Mama moo-a let me go!)
General Tso has a pasture he set aside for me...
for me....for freee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-!
...
So you think you can best me and just breeze on by?
Well if your eyes are glowing, you know that's a lie-ie!
Oh, Privy...can't do this to me Swashy!
Just gotta get out, gotta get right outta he-ere!
...
My feelings don't matter,
any cow can see.
Feeling rather battered-
Nothing really sadder....tha-an meeee!
...
Seems that poor Moo Manchu is quite saddened by being beat up over and over again...and also tired of being resorted to nothing but Moo, Man Chew (and Woman Chew too!)

Commodore
Jan 22, 2013
875
nice. loved that song. i will indeed think of that every time i fight him (or see something from the tower)

Lieutenant
Oct 12, 2012
149
ValkoorTheVictorio... on May 5, 2015 wrote:
Ok, so I woke up this morning and thought that it was time for another song (yep, that's how it works for me sometimes). So, next time you pirates are beating up on poor ol' Moo Manchu in his Tower, just picture him woefully singing this tune. (if unfamiliar with it just check out Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody)

Moohemian Rhapsody
Is this my new life,
Where is the milk & cheese?
Caught in this towah,
No escape from the piracy!
...
Hoping my eyes,
wake me from this bad dream.
I'm just a bovine, show me some sympathy.
Because it's pirates come, pirates go-
Beating me, to and fro!
Every day the hurt grows, nothings really sadder to me...to-oo me.
...
Mama, just iced a man-
Frozen Tide against his crew,
but he'll soon thaw, then what to do?
Mama, your calf is ooon the run.
So I'll leave you with an Infernal Wave.
...
Mamaaa, moo-ooo-ooo-ooh!
They'll keep fighting till ninja pigs fly.
And they'll be back this time tomorrow-
Surely they'll, carry on- like a cow's feelings never mattered.
...
Oh greaaat! Here they cooome!
More shivers for this bovine,
Hooves are aching all the time.
Goodbye Terra Cottas, I'll miss you so-
but I'll leave my Masque behind and my robes toooo.
...
Mamaaa, moo-ooo-ooo-ooh! (All the time my fear grows)
I am gonna cry...
I sometimes wish I took that job at the mall!
...
<dun, dun, dun, dun, dun...(or however you spell music rapidly getting faster)>
...
I see a little silhouetto, HOLY COW!
Scaredy Moo! Scaredy Moo! And it has a pet Fandango!
Mojo Bolt, Chain Lightning-
Udderly frightening, to me!
Terra Cotta, Staff of Powah!
Terra Cotta, Staff of Powah!
Sara, Milo! And El Toro!
And Goro, NO-OO-OO!
...
I'm just a slab of beef, nobody loves me.
He's just a poor cow, a big bag of dairy-
Spare ribs on hooves, lacking all velocity!
...
Cheesy cow, cheesy moo. Should we let him go?
Please Moodha! NOOO! We will not let you go! (Let me moo!)
Please Moodha! Never let you moo! (Let me go!)
Please Moodha! Never let you go! (Let me moo!)
We'll not let you moo! (Let me go!)
Never, never let you go!
Never let me go moo!
No, go! No, go! No, moo for you!
...
Oh mama moo-a, papa moo-a! (Mama moo-a let me go!)
General Tso has a pasture he set aside for me...
for me....for freee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-!
...
So you think you can best me and just breeze on by?
Well if your eyes are glowing, you know that's a lie-ie!
Oh, Privy...can't do this to me Swashy!
Just gotta get out, gotta get right outta he-ere!
...
My feelings don't matter,
any cow can see.
Feeling rather battered-
Nothing really sadder....tha-an meeee!
...
Seems that poor Moo Manchu is quite saddened by being beat up over and over again...and also tired of being resorted to nothing but Moo, Man Chew (and Woman Chew too!)
Never fail to brighten a day :D

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9079
Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
sparticus32 on May 5, 2015 wrote:
nice. loved that song. i will indeed think of that every time i fight him (or see something from the tower)
Thanks Jack! Just the thought of Moo Manchu and a couple of his most nefarious minions riding around in an AMC Pacer and headbanging to that song.....priceless! I mean who doesn't dream of a headbanging cow...or am I the only one?

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
Koi the Fish on May 6, 2015 wrote:
Never fail to brighten a day :D
Thanks Kai!

Just thought I would share a little laugh and song to try to spread some cheer. So much of life is just to demanding and serious...gotta try to keep the smiles and goofiness coming in, whenever possible!

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
anecorbie on May 6, 2015 wrote:
We will, we will sock you
Oooohh that's a great battle anthem! Now that would be the perfect piratical response song to counter poor ol' Moo Manchu. Hmmm....care to do the honors.

If not, I think that maybe I could manage to whip something up. Now that you got my brain a smokin', a George Thorogood song would be pretty fitting too.......Mooooo-ve it on Over. But Queen countered by Queen...you can't beat that and rockin' and sockin', is what we pirates do best.

Bosun
Feb 25, 2012
330
I think that that might have been the best thing ever.

Commodore
May 31, 2009
873
ValkoorTheVictorio... on May 5, 2015 wrote:
Ok, so I woke up this morning and thought that it was time for another song (yep, that's how it works for me sometimes). So, next time you pirates are beating up on poor ol' Moo Manchu in his Tower, just picture him woefully singing this tune. (if unfamiliar with it just check out Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody)

Moohemian Rhapsody
Is this my new life,
Where is the milk & cheese?
Caught in this towah,
No escape from the piracy!
...
Hoping my eyes,
wake me from this bad dream.
I'm just a bovine, show me some sympathy.
Because it's pirates come, pirates go-
Beating me, to and fro!
Every day the hurt grows, nothings really sadder to me...to-oo me.
...
Mama, just iced a man-
Frozen Tide against his crew,
but he'll soon thaw, then what to do?
Mama, your calf is ooon the run.
So I'll leave you with an Infernal Wave.
...
Mamaaa, moo-ooo-ooo-ooh!
They'll keep fighting till ninja pigs fly.
And they'll be back this time tomorrow-
Surely they'll, carry on- like a cow's feelings never mattered.
...
Oh greaaat! Here they cooome!
More shivers for this bovine,
Hooves are aching all the time.
Goodbye Terra Cottas, I'll miss you so-
but I'll leave my Masque behind and my robes toooo.
...
Mamaaa, moo-ooo-ooo-ooh! (All the time my fear grows)
I am gonna cry...
I sometimes wish I took that job at the mall!
...
<dun, dun, dun, dun, dun...(or however you spell music rapidly getting faster)>
...
I see a little silhouetto, HOLY COW!
Scaredy Moo! Scaredy Moo! And it has a pet Fandango!
Mojo Bolt, Chain Lightning-
Udderly frightening, to me!
Terra Cotta, Staff of Powah!
Terra Cotta, Staff of Powah!
Sara, Milo! And El Toro!
And Goro, NO-OO-OO!
...
I'm just a slab of beef, nobody loves me.
He's just a poor cow, a big bag of dairy-
Spare ribs on hooves, lacking all velocity!
...
Cheesy cow, cheesy moo. Should we let him go?
Please Moodha! NOOO! We will not let you go! (Let me moo!)
Please Moodha! Never let you moo! (Let me go!)
Please Moodha! Never let you go! (Let me moo!)
We'll not let you moo! (Let me go!)
Never, never let you go!
Never let me go moo!
No, go! No, go! No, moo for you!
...
Oh mama moo-a, papa moo-a! (Mama moo-a let me go!)
General Tso has a pasture he set aside for me...
for me....for freee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-!
...
So you think you can best me and just breeze on by?
Well if your eyes are glowing, you know that's a lie-ie!
Oh, Privy...can't do this to me Swashy!
Just gotta get out, gotta get right outta he-ere!
...
My feelings don't matter,
any cow can see.
Feeling rather battered-
Nothing really sadder....tha-an meeee!
...
Seems that poor Moo Manchu is quite saddened by being beat up over and over again...and also tired of being resorted to nothing but Moo, Man Chew (and Woman Chew too!)
Oh, thank you for the much needed giggle, Valkoor!

Captain
Jun 26, 2010
730
That be quite the melody ye post there mate, pure poetry if I say so me self.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6211
Valkoor, please never stop the goofiness and your amazing lyrical funniness. You are beyond gifted in this and I can only quote Ratbeard for this one: "There are not enough YARs in the world for Valkoor"

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
Blixet on May 6, 2015 wrote:
I think that that might have been the best thing ever.
Kind of you to say so Blixet- and thank you! I don't know about best thing ever, but it surely has to be right up there with best cow related songs remade from a Queen hit. And I'm quite sure there just has to be a ton of those out there....

Party on!

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
MistyDragon13 on May 6, 2015 wrote:
Oh, thank you for the much needed giggle, Valkoor!
Why soitenly! Happy to produce a couple of giggles for you Misty! Ooh that just made me think up a tongue twister!

Google a gaggle of gargoyles giggling, while gargling in goggles. Hmm...I just may need to seek professional help.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
jack morgan933 on May 6, 2015 wrote:
That be quite the melody ye post there mate, pure poetry if I say so me self.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan
Why thank you, Jack my friend! Glad you enjoyed it. Now, if I could only get that melody out of my head.....

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
Chrissy Th'Blesser on May 6, 2015 wrote:
Valkoor, please never stop the goofiness and your amazing lyrical funniness. You are beyond gifted in this and I can only quote Ratbeard for this one: "There are not enough YARs in the world for Valkoor"
Aww, shucks Chrissy-- you are way too kind and I thank you for the nice words.

Unfortunately for some, I don't think there's an off switch for my Goofometer! And I may be mistaken, but in all fairness I think when Ratbeard posted that, he had been doing a bit too much Ratty Pubby, instead of his usual Patty Rubby. Plus, he was a bit blinded by all the Armadisco talk. A love of Disco will make you say all kinds of weird things....yeah, disco is that powerful!

Hmmm.....that reminds me of a great show from the past and I would love to see the 'Spiral version'-- Ratlings Say the Darndest Things. Now that would make for some great and entertaining viewing!

Staying Aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

Pirate Overlord
Mar 16, 2012
9079
ValkoorTheVictorio... on May 6, 2015 wrote:
Oooohh that's a great battle anthem! Now that would be the perfect piratical response song to counter poor ol' Moo Manchu. Hmmm....care to do the honors.

If not, I think that maybe I could manage to whip something up. Now that you got my brain a smokin', a George Thorogood song would be pretty fitting too.......Mooooo-ve it on Over. But Queen countered by Queen...you can't beat that and rockin' and sockin', is what we pirates do best.
I tried, but couldn't make a good parody, you do it! I'm sure it'll be much better than mine.

Lieutenant
Feb 15, 2014
140
Now we need a battle as anthem for the upcoming Kane fight.
Pirates all around me, very very frightening
That sword is gonna tear my mask
!

Bosun
Dec 24, 2009
394
ValkoorTheVictorio... on May 5, 2015 wrote:
Ok, so I woke up this morning and thought that it was time for another song (yep, that's how it works for me sometimes). So, next time you pirates are beating up on poor ol' Moo Manchu in his Tower, just picture him woefully singing this tune. (if unfamiliar with it just check out Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody)

Moohemian Rhapsody
Is this my new life,
Where is the milk & cheese?
Caught in this towah,
No escape from the piracy!
...
Hoping my eyes,
wake me from this bad dream.
I'm just a bovine, show me some sympathy.
Because it's pirates come, pirates go-
Beating me, to and fro!
Every day the hurt grows, nothings really sadder to me...to-oo me.
...
Mama, just iced a man-
Frozen Tide against his crew,
but he'll soon thaw, then what to do?
Mama, your calf is ooon the run.
So I'll leave you with an Infernal Wave.
...
Mamaaa, moo-ooo-ooo-ooh!
They'll keep fighting till ninja pigs fly.
And they'll be back this time tomorrow-
Surely they'll, carry on- like a cow's feelings never mattered.
...
Oh greaaat! Here they cooome!
More shivers for this bovine,
Hooves are aching all the time.
Goodbye Terra Cottas, I'll miss you so-
but I'll leave my Masque behind and my robes toooo.
...
Mamaaa, moo-ooo-ooo-ooh! (All the time my fear grows)
I am gonna cry...
I sometimes wish I took that job at the mall!
...
<dun, dun, dun, dun, dun...(or however you spell music rapidly getting faster)>
...
I see a little silhouetto, HOLY COW!
Scaredy Moo! Scaredy Moo! And it has a pet Fandango!
Mojo Bolt, Chain Lightning-
Udderly frightening, to me!
Terra Cotta, Staff of Powah!
Terra Cotta, Staff of Powah!
Sara, Milo! And El Toro!
And Goro, NO-OO-OO!
...
I'm just a slab of beef, nobody loves me.
He's just a poor cow, a big bag of dairy-
Spare ribs on hooves, lacking all velocity!
...
Cheesy cow, cheesy moo. Should we let him go?
Please Moodha! NOOO! We will not let you go! (Let me moo!)
Please Moodha! Never let you moo! (Let me go!)
Please Moodha! Never let you go! (Let me moo!)
We'll not let you moo! (Let me go!)
Never, never let you go!
Never let me go moo!
No, go! No, go! No, moo for you!
...
Oh mama moo-a, papa moo-a! (Mama moo-a let me go!)
General Tso has a pasture he set aside for me...
for me....for freee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-!
...
So you think you can best me and just breeze on by?
Well if your eyes are glowing, you know that's a lie-ie!
Oh, Privy...can't do this to me Swashy!
Just gotta get out, gotta get right outta he-ere!
...
My feelings don't matter,
any cow can see.
Feeling rather battered-
Nothing really sadder....tha-an meeee!
...
Seems that poor Moo Manchu is quite saddened by being beat up over and over again...and also tired of being resorted to nothing but Moo, Man Chew (and Woman Chew too!)
Looks like I'm late to the party, but have no fear, I'll make it up to you with my own gift: puns!

Warning: The following puns are going to be bad.

You know? After reading this song, something rings a Bell. Every time I leave, I hear a sad "Moo hoo" behind me. At first I thought it was his Staff looking at the mess my group and I made, but it occurred to me that his Staff had been swept away in one Bovine wave(that one wasn't even close). When I realize it was Moo, I develop an Infernal hatred to myself for doing such a Moorbid thing. Then it hit me one day, "He started it. What's his Beef with me? It's not my fault Tso's a Chicken." It makes me want to meat the both of them in one room and ask what the Steaks are. I don't care if I Calf to Grill them for answers. I'm going to Milk all the info I can from them. However, I remember that Nefarious look in his eyes, and it makes me want to Vaca way(that was awful. Spanish? Really?). Also I think I Toro my shoulder in my last fight, so I'll Calf(I already used that joke) to wait for it. I don't want to appear a Coward though, Tso I'll have to arrange it later this week.

That's where I'll stop. Anyways, great song you got there. It was very creative and original. Good luck in your future songs!

Fearless Dolan Grant lvl65

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2747
FireMorgan13 on Jun 11, 2015 wrote:
Looks like I'm late to the party, but have no fear, I'll make it up to you with my own gift: puns!

Warning: The following puns are going to be bad.

You know? After reading this song, something rings a Bell. Every time I leave, I hear a sad "Moo hoo" behind me. At first I thought it was his Staff looking at the mess my group and I made, but it occurred to me that his Staff had been swept away in one Bovine wave(that one wasn't even close). When I realize it was Moo, I develop an Infernal hatred to myself for doing such a Moorbid thing. Then it hit me one day, "He started it. What's his Beef with me? It's not my fault Tso's a Chicken." It makes me want to meat the both of them in one room and ask what the Steaks are. I don't care if I Calf to Grill them for answers. I'm going to Milk all the info I can from them. However, I remember that Nefarious look in his eyes, and it makes me want to Vaca way(that was awful. Spanish? Really?). Also I think I Toro my shoulder in my last fight, so I'll Calf(I already used that joke) to wait for it. I don't want to appear a Coward though, Tso I'll have to arrange it later this week.

That's where I'll stop. Anyways, great song you got there. It was very creative and original. Good luck in your future songs!

Fearless Dolan Grant lvl65
Thank you for the warning, the compliments, the wishes of good luck and........the gloriously bad puns!!! Bad puns are the best kinds-- they are supposed to make you shake your head. I think you did a fantastic job and as someone who 'occasionally' uses a pun or two, I'd say it was a no-bull attempt! Long live the fantastico pun and the groans that follow!

Now, I just need to work on a new song....hmm, maybe it's time to take requests. Although I still have to get to Esperanza's 'We Will Rock You'. You're right Esperanza, that's a bit of a tricky one. Too many repetitive lines or similar lines-- not much variety to 'play around' with. I'll have to really put my brain to 'good use' on that one.