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Funny Dialogues

2
AuthorMessage
Admiral
Jun 02, 2013
1472
if your a witchdoctor you will know this one
when you get down to captain gunns tomb old scrathc says"let me work me art" and captain gunn comes alive and mormo says"mormo could have done that"
also when promoting ratbeard you have to get something from one eyed jack and one eyed jack says"ratbeard hey"ratbeard says"i need something for catbeard" and one eyed jack says " catbeard ratbeard are you 2 brothers.
ratbeard get sreally offended by that one
and on the same promotion when ratbeard finds who kills his crew its a peacock and when yu defeat him ratbeard says"i should roast this foul bird and his name is fowler. lol
Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
witchdoctor daruis on May 4, 2014 wrote:
if your a witchdoctor you will know this one
when you get down to captain gunns tomb old scrathc says"let me work me art" and captain gunn comes alive and mormo says"mormo could have done that"
also when promoting ratbeard you have to get something from one eyed jack and one eyed jack says"ratbeard hey"ratbeard says"i need something for catbeard" and one eyed jack says " catbeard ratbeard are you 2 brothers.
ratbeard get sreally offended by that one
and on the same promotion when ratbeard finds who kills his crew its a peacock and when yu defeat him ratbeard says"i should roast this foul bird and his name is fowler. lol
I was so thrilled when Ratbeard said "Ahoy, there, Turkey! My name's Ratbeard. Ye killed me father. You killed my crew! Prepare to die!" Such a delightful way to give a nod to one of my ultra favorite movies, The Princess Bride. Calling Captain Fowl a turkey was SUCH a great slam too.
Ensign
Jul 16, 2008
29
The many, many times that Catbeard says "what" during his trial. Oh, and let's not forget that eensy teensy little thing he said to us. What was it again? Ah, yes. "GET. ME. OUTTA HERE!"
Ensign
Jul 29, 2013
14
One of my favorite dialogues at the moment is the dungeon on Talos, Aquila, where Hawkules mistakes el Toro for The Minotaur.

Bonnie Ann: Look over there, that must be Hawkules.
Ratbeard: Big fella, isn't he?

Hawkules: Greetings! A fine day is it not? A fine day...for combat! These collossi stole my belt, it was a gift from my father, Zeus. Come along and help if you're up to it, and help-Egads! The minotaur!

el Toro: Minotaur! Where? He must have followed us from Knossos, the fiend!

Hawkules: You might wear a mask, but don't think you can fool the Mighty Hawkules, Scourge of Achaea! Surrender, or I shall pound you!

el Toro: A mask? Oh, I see. Just what are you implying? It's the horns isn't it? So every person with horns is some kind of...Minotaur monster?

Cracks me up everytime! And also how Hawkules is always mentioning his father. Did I mention my father is Zeus? and Bonnie Ann gets sick of it and says something like "only a hundered times" can't remember the exact response, sorry.
I think the companion interaction between all the main characters is so deliciously entertaining. Great job KI!
Petty Officer
Mar 11, 2011
86
Hmmm. This is a hard one. But here are my favorites.

Monkey King-Pigsy, come join us. We'll light the skies on fire!

Ratbeard- Aye, we lay low till it all blows over.

Catbeard- A party? Fabulous! Oh, I hope it can be the kind where everyone where togas.

Dead Mike-Marleybone? I hate Marleybone. I fell of a rooftop there once.

El Toro-Yes. I am Don Rodrigo. You did not suspect that. There is no shame in that.

We all know it was him

Jacob
Ensign
Jul 16, 2008
29
When Timmy joins the Seven. Duck Holiday's reaction is priceless.
"Oh, yay!"
"Oh, koff brother."
Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Ok, so I came across one recently doing the quest 'Caesar's Salad' in Aquila. First off there is a funny little reference in which you have to find the hard cheese in the Cavern of Parma.

Upon entering the cavern, your crew is confronted by some cheese guarding Ettins, who happen to be yellow from apparently consuming too much of the fantastic fromage.

The following lines from the members of the crew had me laughing out loud.

El Toro: "Those Ettins do not appear willing to give up any cheese Captain. We must fight them for it! Para El Queso!" (For The Cheese)

Ratbeard: "What did he say?"

Monkey King: "Just go with it."

That must be some good cheese.
Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
BrownBeard094 on May 5, 2014 wrote:
Hmmm. This is a hard one. But here are my favorites.

Monkey King-Pigsy, come join us. We'll light the skies on fire!

Ratbeard- Aye, we lay low till it all blows over.

Catbeard- A party? Fabulous! Oh, I hope it can be the kind where everyone where togas.

Dead Mike-Marleybone? I hate Marleybone. I fell of a rooftop there once.

El Toro-Yes. I am Don Rodrigo. You did not suspect that. There is no shame in that.

We all know it was him

Jacob
Those are some great and super funny ones Jacob! I had forgotten about some of them since I only have one maxed pirate, with the rest being really low. Now, I will really have to get crackalackin' on working on another class- just to experience some of those hilarious moments all over again.
First Mate
Mar 30, 2011
483
I can't wait to see what more punny dialogues KI has in store for us :D
Captain
Dec 11, 2010
748
If Bonnie Annie ever gets another promotion quest I would laugh out loud of someone said.
"What does Bonnie Annie say"
:P
Ensign
Jun 04, 2014
6
Otter Ensign- Get the jumbo shrimp!
Bonnie Annie- Isn`t that an oxymoron?
Otter Ensign- What did you just call me?

and

Bonnie Annie- Those skarakeets don`t look so friendly. Polly want a cracker?
Captain
Dec 01, 2012
607
Bonnie Anne:Captain,this doesn't sit well with me.
Ratbeard:I know,the job's all backwards.If we're kidnapping the girl,we should be ransomin'her too!
Bonnie Anne:No!You git.!
Lieutenant
Jan 18, 2011
140
warriorscreed on May 3, 2014 wrote:
Weeeellll, I guess I'll give this another go! My favorite dialogue comes from the quest Whako-Yako!

Monkey King: "First Floor! Sportswear, Stationery, Rubber Mallets! AND PIG ARCHERS!?!?"

Monkey King: "Second Floor! Toys, Kitchenware, Confectionery! AND YAKATEERS!?!?!"

Bonnie Anne upon arriving at the 3rd floor: "Funny. The tower didn't look this tall from the outside."

Monkey King: "Third Floor! Molten Lead, Chopping Blocks, Hot Boiling Oil! AND EVIL SORCERERS!?!?!?"

Monkey King: "Fourth Floor! Frying Pans, Razor Blades, Ladies Garments! AND WANNA BE YAKOOZA OYABUNS!?!?!?! Everybody out!"
That was very funny! that was the bomb of all jokes I cracked up!

My favorite Dialoge was when you went into that cave filled with trolls one time in Aquila when you (clearly) walked into a trap they set up.

Troll leader: (not sure of the dialoge) "Puny creatures, let's smash them!"
Old scratch: "It's a Trap!" (clearly star wars Dialoge)
I said: "Well thank you Captain obvious! Blast them!"
Lieutenant
Jan 18, 2011
140
BrownBeard094 on May 5, 2014 wrote:
Hmmm. This is a hard one. But here are my favorites.

Monkey King-Pigsy, come join us. We'll light the skies on fire!

Ratbeard- Aye, we lay low till it all blows over.

Catbeard- A party? Fabulous! Oh, I hope it can be the kind where everyone where togas.

Dead Mike-Marleybone? I hate Marleybone. I fell of a rooftop there once.

El Toro-Yes. I am Don Rodrigo. You did not suspect that. There is no shame in that.

We all know it was him

Jacob
When your the only Bull in that town in Cool ranch and the governor is looking for a bull sized El Toro .... Everyone knows it
Lieutenant
Jan 18, 2011
140
Rachel Dreamsong on May 20, 2014 wrote:
If Bonnie Annie ever gets another promotion quest I would laugh out loud of someone said.
"What does Bonnie Annie say"
:P
You mean "What does the Fox says" from that song? (I bet they might shorten it cause her name is a mouthful)
Ensign
Dec 21, 2010
11
When I was in Cool Ranch, I was finally introduced to El Toro. They said his biggest weapon was mystery or something because no one knew who he was. And as soon as I met Don Ronrigo (is that right) I knew it was him. At the end of that dungeon he stumbled on his words calling Don Ronrigo ''I" instead of "he" for a moment then disappeared so quickly. I found Don Ronrigo and I were followed. When the battle began. I found El Toro was Don Ronrigo. I was right! That was when he said. "At last my secret is revealed. I am El Toro. I know, you suspected nothing. There is no shame in that." BOOM!!! That did it for me! I knew it was him all along and he said that I suspected NOTHING. I said, "Uh huh...I suspected nothing. Right." then went over to talk to him. It was so funny!

Perilous Olivia Hornigold
Petty Officer
Apr 21, 2012
61
How about the recurring gag where characters say the Isle of Doom is a lovely place, only to name something not-so lovely, like monstrous spiders, or brain-eating parasites.
Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
FireDragonBond on Aug 6, 2014 wrote:
When I was in Cool Ranch, I was finally introduced to El Toro. They said his biggest weapon was mystery or something because no one knew who he was. And as soon as I met Don Ronrigo (is that right) I knew it was him. At the end of that dungeon he stumbled on his words calling Don Ronrigo ''I" instead of "he" for a moment then disappeared so quickly. I found Don Ronrigo and I were followed. When the battle began. I found El Toro was Don Ronrigo. I was right! That was when he said. "At last my secret is revealed. I am El Toro. I know, you suspected nothing. There is no shame in that." BOOM!!! That did it for me! I knew it was him all along and he said that I suspected NOTHING. I said, "Uh huh...I suspected nothing. Right." then went over to talk to him. It was so funny!

Perilous Olivia Hornigold
Yes I agree, there is so much tongue in cheek in the plot and writing I am surprised they can speak at all.
Lieutenant
Nov 01, 2012
163
My favorite? When Hawkules thinks El Toro is the Minotaur

My second favorite is probably when we have the wax in our ears and Ratbeard keeps saying "What?"
Lieutenant
Nov 01, 2012
163
The Hoodoo Master on Jul 29, 2014 wrote:
Bonnie Anne:Captain,this doesn't sit well with me.
Ratbeard:I know,the job's all backwards.If we're kidnapping the girl,we should be ransomin'her too!
Bonnie Anne:No!You git.!
Haha! I love rat beard and bonnie's constant bickering. It gives more humor and life to the game
Captain
Dec 01, 2012
607
Faithless Josef Hawkins:Drink Pirate,you will be strong
El Toro:No!Do not listen captain!
Unreliable Benjamin Wright:Drink Pirate,you'll never miss again
Birgus Latro:No way,don't do it!
Insensitive Faye Jennings:Drink Pirate,and none will resist your will
Bonnie Anne:No captain!Don't touch it-it's evil!
Ignoble Jonathan:Drink Pirate,and you'll be faster than lightning.

Ratbeard:Actually,this soundin' pretty good t'me...
Captain
Dec 01, 2012
607
Captain
Dec 01, 2012
607
Swidget:Pirates?why no,these are my colleagues from Port Regal...they are..um...experts on the laws across colonies and...um...their applications in Marleybone.

Ratbeard:Aye experts.That's us.Not pirates at all!
Petty Officer
Jul 06, 2010
52
I'm partial to Bonnie Anne and Ratbeard's lines as we're storming Fort Elena.

Bonnie: "It worked!"
Ratbeard: "Course it worked! Now let's get in there double quick!"

The lines themselves aren't that funny, but Ratbeard's delivery is priceless. He says the first part quieter than the rest, like he's hurt that Bonnie Anne didn't think it would work.

As a side note, anyone else notice how often Ratbeard's lines have been used in this thread?
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