Congrats to Golden Guardian's- gunner's mate!

AuthorMessage
Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2699
Congratulations Golden Guardian on being promoted to Gunner's Mate.

You deserve the honor as your posts are always thought provoking or providing valuable information, well thought out ideas and suggestions on improving your fellow pirates' gaming experience. By the way, I was going to demote you 2 ranks but I just couldn't do it.

Again, congratulations!

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6079
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Congratulations Golden Guardian on being promoted to Gunner's Mate.

You deserve the honor as your posts are always thought provoking or providing valuable information, well thought out ideas and suggestions on improving your fellow pirates' gaming experience. By the way, I was going to demote you 2 ranks but I just couldn't do it.

Again, congratulations!
Lol Touche Valkoor.
Congratulations also to our highly favored Pirate from Down Under. Well done with your much deserved promotion.
By the way, as I am on all hours, can we calculate the time difference so I can meet you in game? I am on in the middle of the night all the time and would love to know that you are on there too. It gets mightily low on conversation when I feel like the night guard at the Skyway Museum. Although the surprising amount of things that come to life make it all worth it.

Bosun
Oct 26, 2012
374
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Congratulations Golden Guardian on being promoted to Gunner's Mate.

You deserve the honor as your posts are always thought provoking or providing valuable information, well thought out ideas and suggestions on improving your fellow pirates' gaming experience. By the way, I was going to demote you 2 ranks but I just couldn't do it.

Again, congratulations!
Wow thanks for the congradulations! And that demoting statement did make me laugh, (psst, sorry for doing that)! Once again thx for the congradulations, and I commend you for crossing the 500 yar barrier!

SDH, Lv 65

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2699
Golden Guardian on Jan 14, 2014 wrote:
Wow thanks for the congradulations! And that demoting statement did make me laugh, (psst, sorry for doing that)! Once again thx for the congradulations, and I commend you for crossing the 500 yar barrier!

SDH, Lv 65
You are quite welcome! No problem about the demoting- in fact, I often demote myself in real life when ever I do something a bit foolish. I just enjoy being on the boards getting to know other players and posters, trying to help out and to get or produce a laugh here and there. By the way I kind-of referenced you (well, fully referenced you) in your 'Congrats Valkoor Lieutenant Rank' thread. In case you hadn't noticed, a certain mischievous Sam Underhill crashed the thread with a pretty funny congrats post. I responded and it has gone back and forth a couple times. Hope you don't mind the reference, it was meant for purely entertainment purposes and fit with the 'story'. If I in any way caused offense, I apologize. You seem to enjoy a laugh and to be open-minded, so I didn't think you would mind too much.

Anyways, congratulations again- enjoy your new rank and all the fame, fortune and media attention that comes along with it. OK, so I guess that doesn't happen but enjoy promotion nonetheless. And thank you again for the contributions on the PHP thread, we appreciate it! I have been working on a couple bundle ideas for your thread as well- just a bit slow.

Bosun
Oct 26, 2012
374
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 14, 2014 wrote:
You are quite welcome! No problem about the demoting- in fact, I often demote myself in real life when ever I do something a bit foolish. I just enjoy being on the boards getting to know other players and posters, trying to help out and to get or produce a laugh here and there. By the way I kind-of referenced you (well, fully referenced you) in your 'Congrats Valkoor Lieutenant Rank' thread. In case you hadn't noticed, a certain mischievous Sam Underhill crashed the thread with a pretty funny congrats post. I responded and it has gone back and forth a couple times. Hope you don't mind the reference, it was meant for purely entertainment purposes and fit with the 'story'. If I in any way caused offense, I apologize. You seem to enjoy a laugh and to be open-minded, so I didn't think you would mind too much.

Anyways, congratulations again- enjoy your new rank and all the fame, fortune and media attention that comes along with it. OK, so I guess that doesn't happen but enjoy promotion nonetheless. And thank you again for the contributions on the PHP thread, we appreciate it! I have been working on a couple bundle ideas for your thread as well- just a bit slow.
Oh I read the conversation between you and Sam Underhill (I am starting to wonder if he is an awesome hobbit due to his surname), and it was so cleverly done and hilarious

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
284
Sam sat back in his inner sanctum and reread the intelligence report. Since it had been done by Ratbeard (in crayon) he needed to do this three more times to decipher the horrid writing.

"It seems, my dear Bonnie Anne, that we have underestimated these message boarders."

"Grzzk, snrk, huh, what?" Bonnie Anne committed herself to saying, waking from her fitful doze and preparing herself to charge the decks to repel the enemy.

Just then the door to the cabin opened to reveal two crew members holding a covered platter containing (hopefully) lunch. "Thought ye might like a bit of a snack, Cap'n," Milo announced cheerfully, whilst Ratbeard looked on from the doorway.

"Anything but toasted cheese," Sam rubbed his hands together gleefully in anticipation. He was feeling a tad peckish.

"Oh, well, if you don't want it," Milo snatched it back up. He left in a huff with the tray.

Sam sighed artfully. "As I was telling Bonnie Anne, the message boarders have become prolific."

"Ain't there a tonic fer that?" Ratbeard asked, scratching his head.

"No, ye git. It means we have to become creative to reward it."

"Like what? Tell a silly story and pretend we're in it?"

"Ratbeard, you're a genius!" Sam crowed.

"I am?"

"He is?" Bonnie Anne looked dubious.

"He is. Listen to this. Congratulations Golden Guardian! Nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6079
Golden Guardian on Jan 14, 2014 wrote:
Oh I read the conversation between you and Sam Underhill (I am starting to wonder if he is an awesome hobbit due to his surname), and it was so cleverly done and hilarious
Ho now There's an idea. That would really explain his great sense of humor and cleverness. Hmm I wonder if he loves gardening too? Now if I could just check out his doorway shape.......

Captain
Jun 26, 2010
586
Congrats and great hard work matie keep it up.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2699
Golden Guardian on Jan 14, 2014 wrote:
Oh I read the conversation between you and Sam Underhill (I am starting to wonder if he is an awesome hobbit due to his surname), and it was so cleverly done and hilarious
Glad you enjoyed it- you know there are many times I wouldn't mind being a hobbit. Excellent movies, books and author. Tolkien had a marvelously adventurous and imaginative mind for sure.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6079
Sam Underhill on Jan 15, 2014 wrote:
Sam sat back in his inner sanctum and reread the intelligence report. Since it had been done by Ratbeard (in crayon) he needed to do this three more times to decipher the horrid writing.

"It seems, my dear Bonnie Anne, that we have underestimated these message boarders."

"Grzzk, snrk, huh, what?" Bonnie Anne committed herself to saying, waking from her fitful doze and preparing herself to charge the decks to repel the enemy.

Just then the door to the cabin opened to reveal two crew members holding a covered platter containing (hopefully) lunch. "Thought ye might like a bit of a snack, Cap'n," Milo announced cheerfully, whilst Ratbeard looked on from the doorway.

"Anything but toasted cheese," Sam rubbed his hands together gleefully in anticipation. He was feeling a tad peckish.

"Oh, well, if you don't want it," Milo snatched it back up. He left in a huff with the tray.

Sam sighed artfully. "As I was telling Bonnie Anne, the message boarders have become prolific."

"Ain't there a tonic fer that?" Ratbeard asked, scratching his head.

"No, ye git. It means we have to become creative to reward it."

"Like what? Tell a silly story and pretend we're in it?"

"Ratbeard, you're a genius!" Sam crowed.

"I am?"

"He is?" Bonnie Anne looked dubious.

"He is. Listen to this. Congratulations Golden Guardian! Nice ring to it, don't you think?"
*Pops popcorn, makes big ice coffee & settles down to watch the fun.*

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2699
Sam Underhill on Jan 15, 2014 wrote:
Sam sat back in his inner sanctum and reread the intelligence report. Since it had been done by Ratbeard (in crayon) he needed to do this three more times to decipher the horrid writing.

"It seems, my dear Bonnie Anne, that we have underestimated these message boarders."

"Grzzk, snrk, huh, what?" Bonnie Anne committed herself to saying, waking from her fitful doze and preparing herself to charge the decks to repel the enemy.

Just then the door to the cabin opened to reveal two crew members holding a covered platter containing (hopefully) lunch. "Thought ye might like a bit of a snack, Cap'n," Milo announced cheerfully, whilst Ratbeard looked on from the doorway.

"Anything but toasted cheese," Sam rubbed his hands together gleefully in anticipation. He was feeling a tad peckish.

"Oh, well, if you don't want it," Milo snatched it back up. He left in a huff with the tray.

Sam sighed artfully. "As I was telling Bonnie Anne, the message boarders have become prolific."

"Ain't there a tonic fer that?" Ratbeard asked, scratching his head.

"No, ye git. It means we have to become creative to reward it."

"Like what? Tell a silly story and pretend we're in it?"

"Ratbeard, you're a genius!" Sam crowed.

"I am?"

"He is?" Bonnie Anne looked dubious.

"He is. Listen to this. Congratulations Golden Guardian! Nice ring to it, don't you think?"
[Cue sound effects-]
MOO, WOOF-WOOF, MEEOOOOW, OINK-SNORT, SPIT-HAACHPUT (Camel)
[ooh, sorry- wrong ones!
uh, here we go...]
BOOOOMM, CRRSHHK, PUHHKOOWW, ERRCHHKK!!!

"Quiver Me Lumbers, Cap'n- what in the blue cheese blazes just happen'd?" puzzled Ratbeard with a dash of uneasiness.

"Easy there Cheese Wiz, it appears that once again another clever congrats from S.A.M has crashed the Cap'n's thread...now take the blasted curlers out of yer beard- ye look utterly ridiculous." sniped Bonnie Anne.

"Why must he insist on continuing these larks, although astute and comical they make me nervous. Not like Ratbeard having children nervous- more like an Old Scratch nervous when ever Lucky Jack Russell walks by. Why does this Captain bounce to and fro, leaving mischief and kindness in his wake? I am beginning to worry about him- perhaps some sort of medication can help his situation. And why did I place my thoughts in quotations this time- this means I must be thinking out loud- how awkward."

[clears rather large knot in throat]

"Listen here my fine crew. I know now who this mysterious Captain is and I aspire to direct him a warm welcome. I see that his efforts are noble and unstinting in their intentions; from here on we shall no longer refer to him as the Captain we shall not speak of. From this day forward he will be known by his true name, Captain..." but before the final word could vacate Valkoors voice box the entire crew interrupted with their own, uneducated guesses.

"Captain Kirk?”
“Cap’n Stubing?”
“Captains Courageous?”
“Captain America?”
“Captain Ron?”
“Cap’n Kangaroo?”
“Captain and Tenille?”
“Cap’n Caveman?”
“Captain Grumby?”
“Cap’n Crunch?”
“Cap’n Crane?”
“Captain Nemo?"”

"Ohh, I do hope they found that poor little fishy, for his papa was terribly worried!" implored El Toro.

"I know- it’s Cap'n Jack Swallow from that Pirates of the Scareabeing movie," Ratbeard affirmed.

"It's Caribbean you twit and I think you mean Cap'n Jack Sparrow." barked Bonnie.

"Uh...never heard of 'em"

Valkoor endeavored to regain order amongst his band of misguided misfits. "No, we shall call him Captain Sam from this day forward. Now I have other orders of business to bring you, for we have a new crewmember amongst us. Nausica, crew...crew she’s Nausica."

"Oh you poor half-horsey, when I first set sail I too got skysick." bumbled Ratbeard.
"No Cheese Chaser- dat be Nausica." Old Scratch mojo echoed.
"My poor sweet thing, you know there is an under the floor board medicine ye can take for that" Ratbeard continued.
"NO- Nausica's her name!" growled Goronado.
"Oh, so she's sick of her name is she!" Ratbeard chimed in.
"Heaven help us all!" exclamo El Toro.
"I give up, Cap'n I'm officially volunteering to walk the plank." piped Bonnie obviously trying to seek refuge from the Rat's ridiculous ramblings.

(continued...)1

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2699
Sam Underhill on Jan 15, 2014 wrote:
Sam sat back in his inner sanctum and reread the intelligence report. Since it had been done by Ratbeard (in crayon) he needed to do this three more times to decipher the horrid writing.

"It seems, my dear Bonnie Anne, that we have underestimated these message boarders."

"Grzzk, snrk, huh, what?" Bonnie Anne committed herself to saying, waking from her fitful doze and preparing herself to charge the decks to repel the enemy.

Just then the door to the cabin opened to reveal two crew members holding a covered platter containing (hopefully) lunch. "Thought ye might like a bit of a snack, Cap'n," Milo announced cheerfully, whilst Ratbeard looked on from the doorway.

"Anything but toasted cheese," Sam rubbed his hands together gleefully in anticipation. He was feeling a tad peckish.

"Oh, well, if you don't want it," Milo snatched it back up. He left in a huff with the tray.

Sam sighed artfully. "As I was telling Bonnie Anne, the message boarders have become prolific."

"Ain't there a tonic fer that?" Ratbeard asked, scratching his head.

"No, ye git. It means we have to become creative to reward it."

"Like what? Tell a silly story and pretend we're in it?"

"Ratbeard, you're a genius!" Sam crowed.

"I am?"

"He is?" Bonnie Anne looked dubious.

"He is. Listen to this. Congratulations Golden Guardian! Nice ring to it, don't you think?"
As the crew got further acquainted with the new Huquine crew member, Valkoor set out to extend goodwill to Captain Sam and to further commend the mighty Golden Guardian on the new promotion. He commenced with passing out a piece of paper of some sort that circulated amongst the fine, yet befuddling crew.

“Before discussing the present matter at hand, I have a chief issue that needs addressing and it may or may not pertain to all and sundry. For those who are not aware, the gunpowder barrels are by no means to be used as litter boxes. Yes I am looking at you Catbeard and Shiruku.”

“Ok, since that is taken care of, I am choosing two of you, to head to the mainland and gather up some essentials for the crew. I also aim to get gifts for our new friend Captain Sam and to honor our far away friend’s preferment in the ranks. Bonnie and Ratbeard , you will take the dinghy to the bazaar and gather everything on the list that the crew requests, along with the gifts.”

“Great, so I will be in charge of two dinghies,” jeered Bonnie.

“Take a look at the crew’s list and let me know if you have any questions,” stated Valkoor.

The two go getters peered down at the list, looking a bit baffled to say the least.

Captain- chaffing powder and cotton boxer-briefs
Bonnie- bigger, more epically fitting mirror and Jimmy Hendrix CD
Black Angus- A1 Steak sauce- bold and spicy
Barnabus- jumbo pack of 5 hour energy drinks
Iago- giant pencil sharpener
Monkey King- a Queen, any queen will do
Dead Mike- skin moisturizer, blemish repair cream and cologne- any floral scent is fine
Stormy Sky- umbrella and galoshes
Catbeard- catnip, scratching post and Hello Kitty doll
Old Scratch- calcium supplements and glucosamine chondroitin
Ratbeard- termite spray and latest copies of Radiant Rodent Review & Nautical Knots for Nitwits
Kobe- a Lakers jersey and gift certificate to Barns and NoBull
Subodai- Mane and Tail shampoo and any My Little Pony
El Toro- floss, dental picks, bleach and copy of Air Writing101- Using the Whole Alphabet
Chicken Miner- eye drops and Ricola cough drops
Birgus Latro- Old Bay seasoning and Vinegar
…..
Before the dynamic duo could set their eyes upon the rest of the crew’s items, Valkoor interjected.

“Time to go Bonnie and Beard, the bazaar awaits.”
“May the spirits of my ancestors guide and protect you on your journey Bonnie so Fair and Stands with Peg,” spirited Skyfire.
“Who’s Peg and why’d I be standing with someone me don’t even know,” Ratbeard babbled.

After descending from the galleon in the little row boat and casting off, the odd couple set out on the Skyway. Clearly Bonnie seemed a bit distressed and this in turn troubled Ratbeard., for though he had the mind of a vacated Nautilus shell he had the heart of a little lamb.

(continued...)2

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2699
Sam Underhill on Jan 15, 2014 wrote:
Sam sat back in his inner sanctum and reread the intelligence report. Since it had been done by Ratbeard (in crayon) he needed to do this three more times to decipher the horrid writing.

"It seems, my dear Bonnie Anne, that we have underestimated these message boarders."

"Grzzk, snrk, huh, what?" Bonnie Anne committed herself to saying, waking from her fitful doze and preparing herself to charge the decks to repel the enemy.

Just then the door to the cabin opened to reveal two crew members holding a covered platter containing (hopefully) lunch. "Thought ye might like a bit of a snack, Cap'n," Milo announced cheerfully, whilst Ratbeard looked on from the doorway.

"Anything but toasted cheese," Sam rubbed his hands together gleefully in anticipation. He was feeling a tad peckish.

"Oh, well, if you don't want it," Milo snatched it back up. He left in a huff with the tray.

Sam sighed artfully. "As I was telling Bonnie Anne, the message boarders have become prolific."

"Ain't there a tonic fer that?" Ratbeard asked, scratching his head.

"No, ye git. It means we have to become creative to reward it."

"Like what? Tell a silly story and pretend we're in it?"

"Ratbeard, you're a genius!" Sam crowed.

"I am?"

"He is?" Bonnie Anne looked dubious.

"He is. Listen to this. Congratulations Golden Guardian! Nice ring to it, don't you think?"
“What seems to be troublin’ ye Bonnie?”
“I’m just a bit concerned about the Cap’n’s well-being. He’s been acting a bit bizarre lately.”
“Well let me see if I can help lift ye spirits- perhaps a song is in order.”
“Please don’t, ugh too late.”

“Me Bonnie lies over the Skyway, Me Bonnie lies in this dinghy,
Me Bonnie lies over the Skyway, so bring back me Bonnie to me.
Bring back, bring back, bring back a smile to Bonnie….”

“You’re not helping and you should seriously take that chunk of cheese out yer mouth before ye start singing,” gekkered Bonnie. “Now I got one for you, since ye be in the singing mood!”

“Row, row, row you dote, ye best stop singing to me,
b’fore it’s time for kraken skulls and the taverns not what I mean….
Ok, ok I didn’t mean to upset ye you big bearded baby, why ye eyes dropping tears?”

“That’s the song me Mumsey sang to me as a wee nestling, oh the memories of me dear Mumsey. Although we lived in a real hole in the wall, she always did her best to make it feel like a home, so full of love. How I miss her so.”

“Well, I’m sure she didn’t sing the song quite like that,” Bonnie offered.
“On the contrary, it was true in every word.”
“Oh…then...I guess she…um…truly did love ye,” stammered Bonnie trying not to further upset the Rat.

Despite all of their obvious differences the two companions made landfall, hit the bazaar and in record timing procured all of the crew’s provisions and made their way back to the resting Galleon.

From the deck of their fine vessel they joined in with the Captain and crew. As the splendid celestial sphere began to bid them a fond farewell and cool it’s glow in the skyway’s tranquil twilight breeze, Valkoor offered up the gifts to his new found friends.

To Captain Sam, a shiny new thesaurus, a commemorative plaque recognizing him as one of the finest and funniest writers on the message boards and some green eggs and ham.

And to the guest of honor Golden Guardian, a care package including; Iced VoVo, damper, lamington, barbecued snags, dagwood dogs, pan fried Barramundi, fantales, 10 cases of Bundaberg Ginger Beer and of course a handshake and a tip of the hat.

[sorry, a bit late in response, the wee ones occupy quite a bit of time]

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6079
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 18, 2014 wrote:
As the crew got further acquainted with the new Huquine crew member, Valkoor set out to extend goodwill to Captain Sam and to further commend the mighty Golden Guardian on the new promotion. He commenced with passing out a piece of paper of some sort that circulated amongst the fine, yet befuddling crew.

“Before discussing the present matter at hand, I have a chief issue that needs addressing and it may or may not pertain to all and sundry. For those who are not aware, the gunpowder barrels are by no means to be used as litter boxes. Yes I am looking at you Catbeard and Shiruku.”

“Ok, since that is taken care of, I am choosing two of you, to head to the mainland and gather up some essentials for the crew. I also aim to get gifts for our new friend Captain Sam and to honor our far away friend’s preferment in the ranks. Bonnie and Ratbeard , you will take the dinghy to the bazaar and gather everything on the list that the crew requests, along with the gifts.”

“Great, so I will be in charge of two dinghies,” jeered Bonnie.

“Take a look at the crew’s list and let me know if you have any questions,” stated Valkoor.

The two go getters peered down at the list, looking a bit baffled to say the least.

Captain- chaffing powder and cotton boxer-briefs
Bonnie- bigger, more epically fitting mirror and Jimmy Hendrix CD
Black Angus- A1 Steak sauce- bold and spicy
Barnabus- jumbo pack of 5 hour energy drinks
Iago- giant pencil sharpener
Monkey King- a Queen, any queen will do
Dead Mike- skin moisturizer, blemish repair cream and cologne- any floral scent is fine
Stormy Sky- umbrella and galoshes
Catbeard- catnip, scratching post and Hello Kitty doll
Old Scratch- calcium supplements and glucosamine chondroitin
Ratbeard- termite spray and latest copies of Radiant Rodent Review & Nautical Knots for Nitwits
Kobe- a Lakers jersey and gift certificate to Barns and NoBull
Subodai- Mane and Tail shampoo and any My Little Pony
El Toro- floss, dental picks, bleach and copy of Air Writing101- Using the Whole Alphabet
Chicken Miner- eye drops and Ricola cough drops
Birgus Latro- Old Bay seasoning and Vinegar
…..
Before the dynamic duo could set their eyes upon the rest of the crew’s items, Valkoor interjected.

“Time to go Bonnie and Beard, the bazaar awaits.”
“May the spirits of my ancestors guide and protect you on your journey Bonnie so Fair and Stands with Peg,” spirited Skyfire.
“Who’s Peg and why’d I be standing with someone me don’t even know,” Ratbeard babbled.

After descending from the galleon in the little row boat and casting off, the odd couple set out on the Skyway. Clearly Bonnie seemed a bit distressed and this in turn troubled Ratbeard., for though he had the mind of a vacated Nautilus shell he had the heart of a little lamb.

(continued...)2
Oh my goodness I am in serious giggle cramps and my sister thinks I have totally lost it. But first of all my congrats on coining of the term "Huquine" That is simply brilliant. That even tops the "Bi Cranial Canine". I really loved the cleverness of that, then I started reading the list....................

Buwaaaaahahahahahahahah I kept reading one and once again stopping to get the ice coffee I just snorted out cleaned up and thinking I had found the favorite then I would read the next one and it would start all over again. My poor screen, lol. I am so glad it is ice coffee proof. Every single one of them is absolutely brilliant. And so soon after the giggle contortions of the captain's name list and the totally hilarious Nausicia schtick. I swear I am gonna have enough giggle endorphins to keep my pain low enough to get some housework done.
Then................You had me almost crying with the tenderness of Anne and Ratty, * dabs eyes* Ok, ok so I DID tear up a bit.
Then totally out of the blue you leave me completely wasted in an hopeless pile of giggles with the "Green Eggs & Ham" I don't think I am gonna breathe normally for hours. My thanks to you for the most hilarious post I have read in I don't know how long, but knowing Sam & Golden Guardian, I am only gonna assume that you raising the bar this high is only gonna encourage them.
Whooooooooo What a ride. Can I ride it again? *Grabs mouse to scroll back. *

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6079
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 18, 2014 wrote:
“What seems to be troublin’ ye Bonnie?”
“I’m just a bit concerned about the Cap’n’s well-being. He’s been acting a bit bizarre lately.”
“Well let me see if I can help lift ye spirits- perhaps a song is in order.”
“Please don’t, ugh too late.”

“Me Bonnie lies over the Skyway, Me Bonnie lies in this dinghy,
Me Bonnie lies over the Skyway, so bring back me Bonnie to me.
Bring back, bring back, bring back a smile to Bonnie….”

“You’re not helping and you should seriously take that chunk of cheese out yer mouth before ye start singing,” gekkered Bonnie. “Now I got one for you, since ye be in the singing mood!”

“Row, row, row you dote, ye best stop singing to me,
b’fore it’s time for kraken skulls and the taverns not what I mean….
Ok, ok I didn’t mean to upset ye you big bearded baby, why ye eyes dropping tears?”

“That’s the song me Mumsey sang to me as a wee nestling, oh the memories of me dear Mumsey. Although we lived in a real hole in the wall, she always did her best to make it feel like a home, so full of love. How I miss her so.”

“Well, I’m sure she didn’t sing the song quite like that,” Bonnie offered.
“On the contrary, it was true in every word.”
“Oh…then...I guess she…um…truly did love ye,” stammered Bonnie trying not to further upset the Rat.

Despite all of their obvious differences the two companions made landfall, hit the bazaar and in record timing procured all of the crew’s provisions and made their way back to the resting Galleon.

From the deck of their fine vessel they joined in with the Captain and crew. As the splendid celestial sphere began to bid them a fond farewell and cool it’s glow in the skyway’s tranquil twilight breeze, Valkoor offered up the gifts to his new found friends.

To Captain Sam, a shiny new thesaurus, a commemorative plaque recognizing him as one of the finest and funniest writers on the message boards and some green eggs and ham.

And to the guest of honor Golden Guardian, a care package including; Iced VoVo, damper, lamington, barbecued snags, dagwood dogs, pan fried Barramundi, fantales, 10 cases of Bundaberg Ginger Beer and of course a handshake and a tip of the hat.

[sorry, a bit late in response, the wee ones occupy quite a bit of time]
Oh yes, One more thing.........The gunpowder? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Buaahahahahahaha

Admiral
Jul 27, 2012
1190
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 18, 2014 wrote:
“What seems to be troublin’ ye Bonnie?”
“I’m just a bit concerned about the Cap’n’s well-being. He’s been acting a bit bizarre lately.”
“Well let me see if I can help lift ye spirits- perhaps a song is in order.”
“Please don’t, ugh too late.”

“Me Bonnie lies over the Skyway, Me Bonnie lies in this dinghy,
Me Bonnie lies over the Skyway, so bring back me Bonnie to me.
Bring back, bring back, bring back a smile to Bonnie….”

“You’re not helping and you should seriously take that chunk of cheese out yer mouth before ye start singing,” gekkered Bonnie. “Now I got one for you, since ye be in the singing mood!”

“Row, row, row you dote, ye best stop singing to me,
b’fore it’s time for kraken skulls and the taverns not what I mean….
Ok, ok I didn’t mean to upset ye you big bearded baby, why ye eyes dropping tears?”

“That’s the song me Mumsey sang to me as a wee nestling, oh the memories of me dear Mumsey. Although we lived in a real hole in the wall, she always did her best to make it feel like a home, so full of love. How I miss her so.”

“Well, I’m sure she didn’t sing the song quite like that,” Bonnie offered.
“On the contrary, it was true in every word.”
“Oh…then...I guess she…um…truly did love ye,” stammered Bonnie trying not to further upset the Rat.

Despite all of their obvious differences the two companions made landfall, hit the bazaar and in record timing procured all of the crew’s provisions and made their way back to the resting Galleon.

From the deck of their fine vessel they joined in with the Captain and crew. As the splendid celestial sphere began to bid them a fond farewell and cool it’s glow in the skyway’s tranquil twilight breeze, Valkoor offered up the gifts to his new found friends.

To Captain Sam, a shiny new thesaurus, a commemorative plaque recognizing him as one of the finest and funniest writers on the message boards and some green eggs and ham.

And to the guest of honor Golden Guardian, a care package including; Iced VoVo, damper, lamington, barbecued snags, dagwood dogs, pan fried Barramundi, fantales, 10 cases of Bundaberg Ginger Beer and of course a handshake and a tip of the hat.

[sorry, a bit late in response, the wee ones occupy quite a bit of time]
O dear, I was laughing so hard with this epic, I could scarcely breathe! I can scarcely begin to give credit to the greatest parts of the hilarity, but I will mention a few:

-- el Toro's comment on 'Captain Nemo' (I had loved the list, but I really lost it there!)
-- 'the mind of a vacated Nautilus shell' (wow, what a metaphor!)
-- the mere potential of gunpowder barrels as litter boxes
-- 'perhaps some sort of medicine can help his situation'
-- 'anything but toasted cheese.'... 'oh, well, if you don't want it,' Milo snatched it back up... wait, that was Sam's line. You and Sam certainly make a great literary sparring team! (yes, I know there are an awful lot of laughing icons, but that's the truth of the matter!)
Virtuous Anne Radcliffe

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2699
Anne Radcliffe on Jan 19, 2014 wrote:
O dear, I was laughing so hard with this epic, I could scarcely breathe! I can scarcely begin to give credit to the greatest parts of the hilarity, but I will mention a few:

-- el Toro's comment on 'Captain Nemo' (I had loved the list, but I really lost it there!)
-- 'the mind of a vacated Nautilus shell' (wow, what a metaphor!)
-- the mere potential of gunpowder barrels as litter boxes
-- 'perhaps some sort of medicine can help his situation'
-- 'anything but toasted cheese.'... 'oh, well, if you don't want it,' Milo snatched it back up... wait, that was Sam's line. You and Sam certainly make a great literary sparring team! (yes, I know there are an awful lot of laughing icons, but that's the truth of the matter!)
Virtuous Anne Radcliffe
Why thank you Anne.

It is nice to know that my oddball sense of humor had such a positive effect on you- although I don't think I would call almost not being able to breathe a positive. Trust me, when I started thinking of what to write, I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined references to Finding Nemo, litter boxes, Ratbeard and Bonnie Anne singing to each other, the Nautilus shell, a Laker's jersey, green eggs and ham, Jimmy Hendrix, Ricola, Ratbeard's Mumsey and others, would all make it into the same story. Funny how the mind works, for sure.

Thank you again for the compliments- so happy you enjoyed the little story and that it brought you some laughs. Oh, and yes I rather enjoy the clever and funny exchanges with Sam- he is very talented and extremely knowledgeable.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2699
Chrissy Th'Blesser on Jan 18, 2014 wrote:
Oh my goodness I am in serious giggle cramps and my sister thinks I have totally lost it. But first of all my congrats on coining of the term "Huquine" That is simply brilliant. That even tops the "Bi Cranial Canine". I really loved the cleverness of that, then I started reading the list....................

Buwaaaaahahahahahahahah I kept reading one and once again stopping to get the ice coffee I just snorted out cleaned up and thinking I had found the favorite then I would read the next one and it would start all over again. My poor screen, lol. I am so glad it is ice coffee proof. Every single one of them is absolutely brilliant. And so soon after the giggle contortions of the captain's name list and the totally hilarious Nausicia schtick. I swear I am gonna have enough giggle endorphins to keep my pain low enough to get some housework done.
Then................You had me almost crying with the tenderness of Anne and Ratty, * dabs eyes* Ok, ok so I DID tear up a bit.
Then totally out of the blue you leave me completely wasted in an hopeless pile of giggles with the "Green Eggs & Ham" I don't think I am gonna breathe normally for hours. My thanks to you for the most hilarious post I have read in I don't know how long, but knowing Sam & Golden Guardian, I am only gonna assume that you raising the bar this high is only gonna encourage them.
Whooooooooo What a ride. Can I ride it again? *Grabs mouse to scroll back. *
Thank you Chrissy- glad you got a good laugh out of it. I had responded to this but I think I got logged off or forgot to hit submit or something- but it never showed up. So thank you, I know I can always can't on you to appreciate my oddball and off the wall sense of humor.

Huquine just popped in my head like a firework going off- followed up by some Aleve. If there happen to be any damages to your PC or screen just send the bill to Ratbeard, as he is the inspiration for a lot of my goofiness. I am glad that my senseless sense of humor helped ease your pain for a brief moment, although I am sure housework isn't what you would have preferred to be doing- Oh well, when duty calls.

I thought it was imperative to show more than just the kind-of-sort-of-like/hate relationship that Bonnie and Beard are always so well known for so I wanted to expose their softer more nurturing sides. As you can see, they can be very endearing to each other- just don't tell Bonnie I said so, or I may be the recipient of her Stock Assault just like Sam was.

Very glad you enjoyed it and I am happy to have made you laugh. Thank you for the nice compliments as well