Forum discussions are now taking place on Discord. For all account questions and concerns, please continue to contact Customer Support directly.

Keep updated on Pirate101 on Twitter @Pirate101, Facebook, Discord, and @KI_Alerts!

Congrats Valkoor Lieutenant Rank!

1
AuthorMessage
Captain
Oct 26, 2012
524
Wowsers! I just was reading the thread about your gunners mate rank, and voila, your now a lieutenant! Congrats and keep going on you buccaneer bravado!

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
Golden Guardian on Jan 9, 2014 wrote:
Wowsers! I just was reading the thread about your gunners mate rank, and voila, your now a lieutenant! Congrats and keep going on you buccaneer bravado!
It appears that your rank is about to rise again too. Congrats on your promotion eve to Gunner's Mate yourself.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Golden Guardian on Jan 9, 2014 wrote:
Wowsers! I just was reading the thread about your gunners mate rank, and voila, your now a lieutenant! Congrats and keep going on you buccaneer bravado!
Thank you once again my far away friend. I appreciate your congratulations very much and the fact that you have the keen eyes of a hawk. Nothing seems to get by you and I admire that you are so willing to lift people's spirits by giving them those warm, kind gifts of recognition and congrats. You should be congratulated for your efforts of giving your fellow pirate friends a pat on the back and, and like Chrissy said, you are nearing promotion too. So for all of this I say congratulations to you.....and thank you again.

I enjoy your threads and you have a lot of nice ideas I must say- and don't think I haven't noticed your efforts of creating thought provoking threads that are tailored to bettering everyone's gaming experience and to making Pirate101 an even more amazing game than it already is. Excellent work and keep it up- I look forward to replying to lots of your ideas as soon as possible

Thank you!

Captain
Jun 26, 2010
734
Congrats once again on a new rank mate.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan

Admiral
Jun 02, 2013
1472
I'm close to my new rank lol I'm a petty officer

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
jack morgan933 on Jan 10, 2014 wrote:
Congrats once again on a new rank mate.

- Deadeye Jack Morgan
Thank you once again Jack, I appreciate it. By the way any new Mechanov posts? You put a great deal of thought and imagination into creating a very intriguing story line. I'll have to look back through the threads to see if there have been any new updates.

Thanks again.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
witchdoctor daruis on Jan 10, 2014 wrote:
I'm close to my new rank lol I'm a petty officer
I guess congratulations are in order as well for your new promotion to Lieutenant....so without further delay, I congratulate you.

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
294
Valkoor looked about nervously. Having just survived gunner's mate rank, he knew something was brewing. The air just didn't feel right. Ratbeard's snoring was off key - alright, so maybe that was normal, but...

Wait a minute, maybe... Valkoor headed back to the deck where Bonnie Anne stood watch. "What's up, Cap'n?" she asked, hands still on the wheel.

"Does anything seem, well, strange to you, Bonnie?"

"Nothing's wrong up here, Cap'n. Do you think the Armada is close?"

"No, no, just a feeling." Valkoor reassured himself by walking the decks. Everything certainly seemed ship-shape. Hold on, on the horizon, what was that? A ship? He took out his spyglass and focused on the tiny vessel. 'Ha! Try to sneak up on me again, will you?'

"Hard aport, Bonnie!" he cried out. "All hands on deck! Battle stations!"

"What is it, Captain my Captain?" Old Scratch asked as the ship gracefully swerved to the left. Valkoor handed the Skeleton the glass. "It seems we have company in this skyway, Captain my Captain. I and I feel great mojo coming from that ship."

'I knew it,' Valkoor congratulated himself. "This time we'll head him off at the pass. Full sail!" he called. The more nimble members of the crew climbed the mast and spread out along the spars to release the sails. The sails lowered with booming snaps as they caught the great winds of the sky. The ship practically leapt for joy beneath their feet as the speed increased. It would take a minute or two to cross paths with the oncoming vessel.

"What does ye think it be, Cap'n" Ratbeard asked. "Armada? Monquistans? Watermoles?"

"Worse than that if my hunch is correct," Valkoor mused. "Full speed, we must out run it. Faster!!"

But it was too late. The oncoming ship released a banner from the top mast. It unfurled with a majestic slowness revealing a message of great import.

'Congratulations, Lieutenant!'

Admiral
Jun 02, 2013
1472
Sam Underhill on Jan 11, 2014 wrote:
Valkoor looked about nervously. Having just survived gunner's mate rank, he knew something was brewing. The air just didn't feel right. Ratbeard's snoring was off key - alright, so maybe that was normal, but...

Wait a minute, maybe... Valkoor headed back to the deck where Bonnie Anne stood watch. "What's up, Cap'n?" she asked, hands still on the wheel.

"Does anything seem, well, strange to you, Bonnie?"

"Nothing's wrong up here, Cap'n. Do you think the Armada is close?"

"No, no, just a feeling." Valkoor reassured himself by walking the decks. Everything certainly seemed ship-shape. Hold on, on the horizon, what was that? A ship? He took out his spyglass and focused on the tiny vessel. 'Ha! Try to sneak up on me again, will you?'

"Hard aport, Bonnie!" he cried out. "All hands on deck! Battle stations!"

"What is it, Captain my Captain?" Old Scratch asked as the ship gracefully swerved to the left. Valkoor handed the Skeleton the glass. "It seems we have company in this skyway, Captain my Captain. I and I feel great mojo coming from that ship."

'I knew it,' Valkoor congratulated himself. "This time we'll head him off at the pass. Full sail!" he called. The more nimble members of the crew climbed the mast and spread out along the spars to release the sails. The sails lowered with booming snaps as they caught the great winds of the sky. The ship practically leapt for joy beneath their feet as the speed increased. It would take a minute or two to cross paths with the oncoming vessel.

"What does ye think it be, Cap'n" Ratbeard asked. "Armada? Monquistans? Watermoles?"

"Worse than that if my hunch is correct," Valkoor mused. "Full speed, we must out run it. Faster!!"

But it was too late. The oncoming ship released a banner from the top mast. It unfurled with a majestic slowness revealing a message of great import.

'Congratulations, Lieutenant!'
Ha lol that's funny I'm a lieutenant now lol

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
Sam Underhill on Jan 11, 2014 wrote:
Valkoor looked about nervously. Having just survived gunner's mate rank, he knew something was brewing. The air just didn't feel right. Ratbeard's snoring was off key - alright, so maybe that was normal, but...

Wait a minute, maybe... Valkoor headed back to the deck where Bonnie Anne stood watch. "What's up, Cap'n?" she asked, hands still on the wheel.

"Does anything seem, well, strange to you, Bonnie?"

"Nothing's wrong up here, Cap'n. Do you think the Armada is close?"

"No, no, just a feeling." Valkoor reassured himself by walking the decks. Everything certainly seemed ship-shape. Hold on, on the horizon, what was that? A ship? He took out his spyglass and focused on the tiny vessel. 'Ha! Try to sneak up on me again, will you?'

"Hard aport, Bonnie!" he cried out. "All hands on deck! Battle stations!"

"What is it, Captain my Captain?" Old Scratch asked as the ship gracefully swerved to the left. Valkoor handed the Skeleton the glass. "It seems we have company in this skyway, Captain my Captain. I and I feel great mojo coming from that ship."

'I knew it,' Valkoor congratulated himself. "This time we'll head him off at the pass. Full sail!" he called. The more nimble members of the crew climbed the mast and spread out along the spars to release the sails. The sails lowered with booming snaps as they caught the great winds of the sky. The ship practically leapt for joy beneath their feet as the speed increased. It would take a minute or two to cross paths with the oncoming vessel.

"What does ye think it be, Cap'n" Ratbeard asked. "Armada? Monquistans? Watermoles?"

"Worse than that if my hunch is correct," Valkoor mused. "Full speed, we must out run it. Faster!!"

But it was too late. The oncoming ship released a banner from the top mast. It unfurled with a majestic slowness revealing a message of great import.

'Congratulations, Lieutenant!'
Oh Sam that was positively brilliant, as usual. You are such a master of surprise and suspense that if Hitchcock were alive he would be losing sleep over you taking over his job. As it is M Night Shyamalan has been seeing doctors for bouts of mysterious insomnia.
Your writing style is so picturesque, it pulls me right in. I think my favorite part is:
The more nimble members of the crew climbed the mast and spread out along the spars to release the sails. The sails lowered with booming snaps as they caught the great winds of the sky. The ship practically leapt for joy beneath their feet as the speed increased.

All for the wonderful occasion of having Valkoor now matching ranks with you. *Sighs with pleasure* This is gonna get fun.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Valkoor drowsily awoke, whirling from the events from the merrymaking the night before. Totally disconcerted and utterly muddled, he attempted to gather himself. His head was still in an intellect- clenching haze and the smell of stale yum emanated from his ever dwindling pride. Valkoor knew he had to collect his wits as he thought to himself,

‘Who could have done this...How was I so careless- to let down my guard so easily. Who was behind delivering this despotic deviousness? Could it be the Red Sash Gang, Lo Pan’s Minions, the Armada, dare I consider Kane himself—or perchance even worse, my mother-in-law. One thing is for certain- I have to unravel who this redoubtable adversary is, at once.’

The sluggish Barnabus broke in, “Captain…can you quiet…your thoughtsteps- they…are running…all over the place.”

“Gather your ears, my fine crew. Someone is after me, inspecting my every move and I aim to find out who,” Valkoor asserted.

“Aaarr, Captain could it be that you are just being auspicious,” eeked the Bearded Rat.

“That’s SUSPICIOUS you hole-hiding halfwit,” Bonnie Anne gekkered.

“Who said delicious…hand it over!” Goronado hooted.

“You already ate you walking disposal,” jeered Bonnie.

As Valkoor’s crew continued to rant semi-incoherently, a brilliant yet unsettling thought came over him. “I see now what has happened, for I have been hit by a S.A.M.”

“A SAM, Captain?”

“Who said SPAM- I want…” whined the golden gorilla.

“As the foxy lady said before, you already ate,El Toro countered.

“Do you mean a Smarmy Armada Militant?” probed Bonnie.

“Or perhaps…Sleeping…Away…Mornings?” Barnabus puzzled.

“I know- a Smile Always Magnificent,” bellowed El Toro.

“Tis but a Spell Absorbing Mojo,” conjured up Old Scratch.

“Oooh, Oooh, I want a shot- a Smooth Attractive Mouse,” chimed in Ratbeard.

“No, it’s Starve A Monkey,” growled Goro.

“YOU ALREADY ATE!!!” The entire crew chorused.

“And besides you twit, you are a gorilla,” proposed Bonnie.

(Continued)

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Valkoor interjected, “Pipe down everyone, what I mean is a S.A.M- a Sneaky Adventurous Mischief-maker. Now we have no time to waste, I must get to the bottom of this. To the docks, we are setting sail straightaway.”

The captain and his crew began their perambulations along the winding cobblestone path that, in time, generously rewarded them with a view of their splendid galleon.

Hour upon hour, the weary crew slogged the vast expanses of Skyway after Skyway. As the golden globe loosened up its heavenly strings, the intertwining autumn hues of reds, oranges, and yellows began to proudly display themselves on the celestial canvas. In the distance a faint yet foreboding fleck appeared on the horizon. Valkoor and his crew took notice.

“I fear Captain my Captain, dat be a harbinger of horrible tings to come,” fizzled Scratch.

“Or maybe, in the words of our resident rodent- once again you are just being auspicious,” Bonnie jested.

“See, I knew I was right,” boasted Ratbeard.

“Whiskers, you are truly hopeless,” El Toro crowed.

“When’s lunch,“ implored Goronado.

“Now is not the time for eating, Goro- for it is a ship and it is moving with astounding haste. And I do not believe it is intending to engage in pleasantries,” Valkoor avowed.

“It is too swift Captain- it moves faster than a rumor through Santo Pollo. Perhaps we should lighten the
load,” reasoned El Toro.

“Between Barnabus, Goro and El Toro’s ego- that ought a do the trick,” Bonnie cackled.

Valkoor steeled his fears. “No, we must face this foe head on. Man your posts!” he proclaimed.

“But Captain I’m a lady,” noted Bonnie.

“Enter the lists and fear not my crew,” Valkoor commanded.

(Continued)

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Before the cumbersome Galleon could maneuver into attacking position, the nimble vessel had closed to within striking distance. And with a surprisingly silent flourish it let loose something from the top mast.

“We be doomed,” hollered Ratbeard. “Hit the Deck,” gasped Bonnie. “Prepare for impact,” warned Barnabus. “Save the rations,” emphasized Goronado. “Not in the face…anything but the face,” El Toro pleaded.

As the menacing object revealed its sinister objectives, the crew was left gazing at the revelations of its ominous intentions.

“It’s too late Cap'n for…” started Bonnie Anne.

“We have been struck by none other than…” Ratbeard progressed.

“A deadly barrage of…” continued El Toro.

“Words of kindness.” Finished Valkoor.

“Now dat be truly diabolical my Captain,” Old Scratch added.

As Valkoor attempted to recover from the angst of the moment he could think of only one thing to say.

“Thanks SAM, I am quite OVERwhelmed.”

“No Cap'n, but I do believe you were UNDERhilled!” Bonnie Anne cheered, and with that the once near silent crew broke into thunderous laughter.

“Let’s go grab Goro something to eat.”

Captain
Oct 26, 2012
524
Eh I think I got something wrong here, Valkoor is not a lieutenant, but a bosun! Lieutenant is 2 ranks lower than him, oh goodness I am confused . Anyway congratulations once again

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Golden Guardian on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Eh I think I got something wrong here, Valkoor is not a lieutenant, but a bosun! Lieutenant is 2 ranks lower than him, oh goodness I am confused . Anyway congratulations once again
Thanks Golden Guardian- I noticed but I did not in any way think that you were demoting me. Besides I like the sound of lieutenant and my brain has been known to malfunction here and there- must be all the yum or perhaps the Armada sabotaging my thoughts.

Thanks again!

Admiral
Jul 27, 2012
1196
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Before the cumbersome Galleon could maneuver into attacking position, the nimble vessel had closed to within striking distance. And with a surprisingly silent flourish it let loose something from the top mast.

“We be doomed,” hollered Ratbeard. “Hit the Deck,” gasped Bonnie. “Prepare for impact,” warned Barnabus. “Save the rations,” emphasized Goronado. “Not in the face…anything but the face,” El Toro pleaded.

As the menacing object revealed its sinister objectives, the crew was left gazing at the revelations of its ominous intentions.

“It’s too late Cap'n for…” started Bonnie Anne.

“We have been struck by none other than…” Ratbeard progressed.

“A deadly barrage of…” continued El Toro.

“Words of kindness.” Finished Valkoor.

“Now dat be truly diabolical my Captain,” Old Scratch added.

As Valkoor attempted to recover from the angst of the moment he could think of only one thing to say.

“Thanks SAM, I am quite OVERwhelmed.”

“No Cap'n, but I do believe you were UNDERhilled!” Bonnie Anne cheered, and with that the once near silent crew broke into thunderous laughter.

“Let’s go grab Goro something to eat.”
*laughing hysterically* Very well done, Valkoor! I believe you have nicely skewered Sam at his own game! Well reposed! And now, I had best duck for cover as the ensuing hijinks continue. *still laughing, gathers crew around with plenty of popcorn on hand to sustain selves while watching the show*

Gunner's Mate
May 28, 2013
294
Sam Underhill on Jan 11, 2014 wrote:
Valkoor looked about nervously. Having just survived gunner's mate rank, he knew something was brewing. The air just didn't feel right. Ratbeard's snoring was off key - alright, so maybe that was normal, but...

Wait a minute, maybe... Valkoor headed back to the deck where Bonnie Anne stood watch. "What's up, Cap'n?" she asked, hands still on the wheel.

"Does anything seem, well, strange to you, Bonnie?"

"Nothing's wrong up here, Cap'n. Do you think the Armada is close?"

"No, no, just a feeling." Valkoor reassured himself by walking the decks. Everything certainly seemed ship-shape. Hold on, on the horizon, what was that? A ship? He took out his spyglass and focused on the tiny vessel. 'Ha! Try to sneak up on me again, will you?'

"Hard aport, Bonnie!" he cried out. "All hands on deck! Battle stations!"

"What is it, Captain my Captain?" Old Scratch asked as the ship gracefully swerved to the left. Valkoor handed the Skeleton the glass. "It seems we have company in this skyway, Captain my Captain. I and I feel great mojo coming from that ship."

'I knew it,' Valkoor congratulated himself. "This time we'll head him off at the pass. Full sail!" he called. The more nimble members of the crew climbed the mast and spread out along the spars to release the sails. The sails lowered with booming snaps as they caught the great winds of the sky. The ship practically leapt for joy beneath their feet as the speed increased. It would take a minute or two to cross paths with the oncoming vessel.

"What does ye think it be, Cap'n" Ratbeard asked. "Armada? Monquistans? Watermoles?"

"Worse than that if my hunch is correct," Valkoor mused. "Full speed, we must out run it. Faster!!"

But it was too late. The oncoming ship released a banner from the top mast. It unfurled with a majestic slowness revealing a message of great import.

'Congratulations, Lieutenant!'
Mission accomplished. Chuckling to themselves, the crew hastily prepared to depart the skyway before anything 'auspicious' happened.

"Cap'n," Ratbeard came forward, "me thinks ye need to dust off them trifocals of yorn and read this here missive agin."

Sam took the proferred paper from his most disheveled crewmember and reread it. "WHAT! Bring that banner down!" 'Besides, they're bifocals," he muttered under his breath. "Nurse Quinn, we need you!"

"I'm a doctor, not a seamstress. I'll sew as fast as I can," she retorted hotly. "It's not like I'm on the first page of companions. But when you need a token female to do token female stuff..." Her grumbling was roundly ignored after that.

"Bring her about! Hard alee! Stow the anchor! Fifty four forty or fight! Come on crew, I can't do all the mad chatter by myself! Help me out here, we've done this before!" Sam gesticulated wildly, looking not unlike a puppet whose strings had been randomly snipped.

"Yippee skippee," Bonnie Anne piped up, sarcasm dripping from her lips. "Don't you think you're taking this whole thing a little bit too far?"
"I and I do not think this will end well, Captain my Captain," Old Scratch observed.
"Is there any particular type of chatter you wish?" El Toro wondered.
"I am the son of a god, you know," Hawkules reminded everyone.
"I could go for a mug of Yum," Milo Graytail wished aloud.
"Besides, we've missed breakfast," Stormy Sky pointed out.
"We always chat amongst ourselves, it just never gets printed," Subodai blurted.
"Stop looking at me, I am a ninja!" Shiruku Neku complained.
"Would you like to play a game?" Sarah Steele asked, looking pointedly at El Toro.
"Captain, I would like to observe that your behavior is bordering on the manic obsessive," Catbeard interjected.
"I knew there was reason I liked sailing with you," Monkey King vociferated.
"Ki-yi-yi-yi-yi," Zeena ululated over the din.
"Why must you do that?" El Toro took a second turn.
"If I had a sonic screwdriver, I could remedy this situation in a jiffy," Gracie Conrad proclaimed.
"I'm not even a member of the crew. I just haven't shown up for a while," Bob the Musketeer whined.
"Finished," Nurse Quinn came forward.
"Let's run it up the mast and we'll see who salutes," Ratbeard took the reworked banner from her and attached it to the ropes with practiced skill.
"I reckon this'll put a bristle under the saddle of that thar buffaloon," Rooster Cogburn declared in his inimitable drawl.
"Someone get that blasted thesaurus away from the Captain!" Ensign Emmett hollered.
"Full sail! Anchors aweigh! Remember the Presidio!" Sam's voice called out

Ratbeard finally got the banner to the top of the mast, where it lazily unfurled in the spiral breeze. As the two ships drifted apart, Sam could see the other ship's crew staring with astonishment on their upturned faces.

'Congratulations Bosun'.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Hey Sam, I decided instead of continuing the story, to retell part of it adding some of my other crew members into the fray. You were too fast for me with the second part. I had just finished a response to your first part (continuing from where you left off) and went to post it and BAM, you had already countered your own post- so I had to quickly improvise and save what I could from the first and just wing it using your 2nd post.

By the way, I discovered that my own snoring is off key just like the Admiral Rat!- but I haven't been practicing long so, I should be able to remedy (or at least better harmonize) it in the near future.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Valkoor drowsily awoke, whirling from the events from the merrymaking the night before. Totally disconcerted and utterly muddled, he attempted to gather himself. His head was still in an intellect- clenching haze and the smell of stale yum emanated from his ever dwindling pride. Valkoor knew he had to collect his wits as he thought to himself,

‘Who could have done this...How was I so careless- to let down my guard so easily. Who was behind delivering this despotic deviousness? Could it be the Red Sash Gang, Lo Pan’s Minions, the Armada, dare I consider Kane himself—or perchance even worse, my mother-in-law. One thing is for certain- I have to unravel who this redoubtable adversary is, at once.’

The sluggish Barnabus broke in, “Captain…can you quiet…your thoughtsteps- they…are running…all over the place.”

“Gather your ears, my fine crew. Someone is after me, inspecting my every move and I aim to find out who,” Valkoor asserted.

“Aaarr, Captain could it be that you are just being auspicious,” eeked the Bearded Rat.

“That’s SUSPICIOUS you hole-hiding halfwit,” Bonnie Anne gekkered.

“Who said delicious…hand it over!” Goronado hooted.

“You already ate you walking disposal,” jeered Bonnie.

As Valkoor’s crew continued to rant semi-incoherently, a brilliant yet unsettling thought came over him. “I see now what has happened, for I have been hit by a S.A.M.”

“A SAM, Captain?”

“Who said SPAM- I want…” whined the golden gorilla.

“As the foxy lady said before, you already ate,El Toro countered.

“Do you mean a Smarmy Armada Militant?” probed Bonnie.

“Or perhaps…Sleeping…Away…Mornings?” Barnabus puzzled.

“I know- a Smile Always Magnificent,” bellowed El Toro.

“Tis but a Spell Absorbing Mojo,” conjured up Old Scratch.

“Oooh, Oooh, I want a shot- a Smooth Attractive Mouse,” chimed in Ratbeard.

“No, it’s Starve A Monkey,” growled Goro.

“YOU ALREADY ATE!!!” The entire crew chorused.

“And besides you twit, you are a gorilla,” proposed Bonnie.

(Continued)
Valkoor you are truly outdoing yourself. This is brilliant!. I must admit you are causing me to wear out my dictionary link lol. (Gekkered?) The despotic deviousness and Mother in Law remark was hysterical. And "quieting your thoughtsteps" I just love that. The auspicious/suspicious schtick is wonderful & I am still giggling over the S.A.M. just fabulous. This is just getting better and better.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Valkoor interjected, “Pipe down everyone, what I mean is a S.A.M- a Sneaky Adventurous Mischief-maker. Now we have no time to waste, I must get to the bottom of this. To the docks, we are setting sail straightaway.”

The captain and his crew began their perambulations along the winding cobblestone path that, in time, generously rewarded them with a view of their splendid galleon.

Hour upon hour, the weary crew slogged the vast expanses of Skyway after Skyway. As the golden globe loosened up its heavenly strings, the intertwining autumn hues of reds, oranges, and yellows began to proudly display themselves on the celestial canvas. In the distance a faint yet foreboding fleck appeared on the horizon. Valkoor and his crew took notice.

“I fear Captain my Captain, dat be a harbinger of horrible tings to come,” fizzled Scratch.

“Or maybe, in the words of our resident rodent- once again you are just being auspicious,” Bonnie jested.

“See, I knew I was right,” boasted Ratbeard.

“Whiskers, you are truly hopeless,” El Toro crowed.

“When’s lunch,“ implored Goronado.

“Now is not the time for eating, Goro- for it is a ship and it is moving with astounding haste. And I do not believe it is intending to engage in pleasantries,” Valkoor avowed.

“It is too swift Captain- it moves faster than a rumor through Santo Pollo. Perhaps we should lighten the
load,” reasoned El Toro.

“Between Barnabus, Goro and El Toro’s ego- that ought a do the trick,” Bonnie cackled.

Valkoor steeled his fears. “No, we must face this foe head on. Man your posts!” he proclaimed.

“But Captain I’m a lady,” noted Bonnie.

“Enter the lists and fear not my crew,” Valkoor commanded.

(Continued)
I am still in awe of this wonderful epic. One of my favorite parts is:
As the golden globe loosened up its heavenly strings, the intertwining autumn hues of reds, oranges, and yellows began to proudly display themselves on the celestial canvas. Beautifully picturesque. And this one:
“I fear Captain my Captain, dat be a harbinger of horrible tings to come,” fizzled Scratch." Had me in stitches. The crew banter is so delightful and Toro's comment about "Faster than a rumor through Santa Pollo" is so full of character and the difficulties and delights of small town life. And last but not least your counter to Bonnie's displeasure of manning her post of "Enter the lists and fear not my crew" is such a diplomatic yet heroic thing for a brave captain to say. Your great writing skills are indeed being triggered by S.A.M effect.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
ValkoorTheVictorio... on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Before the cumbersome Galleon could maneuver into attacking position, the nimble vessel had closed to within striking distance. And with a surprisingly silent flourish it let loose something from the top mast.

“We be doomed,” hollered Ratbeard. “Hit the Deck,” gasped Bonnie. “Prepare for impact,” warned Barnabus. “Save the rations,” emphasized Goronado. “Not in the face…anything but the face,” El Toro pleaded.

As the menacing object revealed its sinister objectives, the crew was left gazing at the revelations of its ominous intentions.

“It’s too late Cap'n for…” started Bonnie Anne.

“We have been struck by none other than…” Ratbeard progressed.

“A deadly barrage of…” continued El Toro.

“Words of kindness.” Finished Valkoor.

“Now dat be truly diabolical my Captain,” Old Scratch added.

As Valkoor attempted to recover from the angst of the moment he could think of only one thing to say.

“Thanks SAM, I am quite OVERwhelmed.”

“No Cap'n, but I do believe you were UNDERhilled!” Bonnie Anne cheered, and with that the once near silent crew broke into thunderous laughter.

“Let’s go grab Goro something to eat.”
I am SO enjoying this in so many levels. I completely lost it at Toro's pleading of "Not in the face...anything gut the face". You have totally captured his foibles in such a hilarious way. Then this line:
"As the menacing object revealed its sinister objectives, the crew was left gazing at the revelations of its ominous intentions." You have set the stage for such delightful drama and then you stretch it with that great line sharing that sets the scene perfectly.
Bonnie Anne's last line was the cherry on top. I do believe that "Getting Underhilled" is a brand new verb that will be in use by many a lucky poster that just happens to fall into the sights of such a master of gigglepraising, our much loved Dr. Sam.

You have truly outdone yourself in great literary style and totally answered the challenge of being 'Underhilled'.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
Anne Radcliffe on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
*laughing hysterically* Very well done, Valkoor! I believe you have nicely skewered Sam at his own game! Well reposed! And now, I had best duck for cover as the ensuing hijinks continue. *still laughing, gathers crew around with plenty of popcorn on hand to sustain selves while watching the show*
Lol Mind if I join you? I just love your choice of words: "Skewered Sam at his own game!" I do SO love hanging around writers. The giggles just never stop.

Pirate Overlord
Mar 10, 2009
6204
Sam Underhill on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Mission accomplished. Chuckling to themselves, the crew hastily prepared to depart the skyway before anything 'auspicious' happened.

"Cap'n," Ratbeard came forward, "me thinks ye need to dust off them trifocals of yorn and read this here missive agin."

Sam took the proferred paper from his most disheveled crewmember and reread it. "WHAT! Bring that banner down!" 'Besides, they're bifocals," he muttered under his breath. "Nurse Quinn, we need you!"

"I'm a doctor, not a seamstress. I'll sew as fast as I can," she retorted hotly. "It's not like I'm on the first page of companions. But when you need a token female to do token female stuff..." Her grumbling was roundly ignored after that.

"Bring her about! Hard alee! Stow the anchor! Fifty four forty or fight! Come on crew, I can't do all the mad chatter by myself! Help me out here, we've done this before!" Sam gesticulated wildly, looking not unlike a puppet whose strings had been randomly snipped.

"Yippee skippee," Bonnie Anne piped up, sarcasm dripping from her lips. "Don't you think you're taking this whole thing a little bit too far?"
"I and I do not think this will end well, Captain my Captain," Old Scratch observed.
"Is there any particular type of chatter you wish?" El Toro wondered.
"I am the son of a god, you know," Hawkules reminded everyone.
"I could go for a mug of Yum," Milo Graytail wished aloud.
"Besides, we've missed breakfast," Stormy Sky pointed out.
"We always chat amongst ourselves, it just never gets printed," Subodai blurted.
"Stop looking at me, I am a ninja!" Shiruku Neku complained.
"Would you like to play a game?" Sarah Steele asked, looking pointedly at El Toro.
"Captain, I would like to observe that your behavior is bordering on the manic obsessive," Catbeard interjected.
"I knew there was reason I liked sailing with you," Monkey King vociferated.
"Ki-yi-yi-yi-yi," Zeena ululated over the din.
"Why must you do that?" El Toro took a second turn.
"If I had a sonic screwdriver, I could remedy this situation in a jiffy," Gracie Conrad proclaimed.
"I'm not even a member of the crew. I just haven't shown up for a while," Bob the Musketeer whined.
"Finished," Nurse Quinn came forward.
"Let's run it up the mast and we'll see who salutes," Ratbeard took the reworked banner from her and attached it to the ropes with practiced skill.
"I reckon this'll put a bristle under the saddle of that thar buffaloon," Rooster Cogburn declared in his inimitable drawl.
"Someone get that blasted thesaurus away from the Captain!" Ensign Emmett hollered.
"Full sail! Anchors aweigh! Remember the Presidio!" Sam's voice called out

Ratbeard finally got the banner to the top of the mast, where it lazily unfurled in the spiral breeze. As the two ships drifted apart, Sam could see the other ship's crew staring with astonishment on their upturned faces.

'Congratulations Bosun'.
*Giggles delightedly* Oh Nicely saved Dr. Sam. Or should I say Dr. S.A.M.? * Ducks as the slingshot fired yum cork sails past & stows own dictionary that is becoming damp from being on deck so much as the prior antics verbiage has necessitated it's use.*

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Chrissy Th'Blesser on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
Valkoor you are truly outdoing yourself. This is brilliant!. I must admit you are causing me to wear out my dictionary link lol. (Gekkered?) The despotic deviousness and Mother in Law remark was hysterical. And "quieting your thoughtsteps" I just love that. The auspicious/suspicious schtick is wonderful & I am still giggling over the S.A.M. just fabulous. This is just getting better and better.
Thanks, Chrissy. Occasionally I get this oval on my head to function properly. Lol, about gekkered- being from a more rural area with plenty of fox around, you learn some of the words that locals use to describe the noises they and other animals make. I actually looked it up and, low and behold, it was a word coined from none other than a Scottish zoologist named David McDonald. So these small time country folk do know a thing or too. It just seemed to fit perfectly with our Fair Bonnie.

Dread Pirate
Jun 17, 2013
2743
Anne Radcliffe on Jan 12, 2014 wrote:
*laughing hysterically* Very well done, Valkoor! I believe you have nicely skewered Sam at his own game! Well reposed! And now, I had best duck for cover as the ensuing hijinks continue. *still laughing, gathers crew around with plenty of popcorn on hand to sustain selves while watching the show*
Thanks Anne, but I fear that I am now in for a true barrage of words - what did I get myself into? By the looks of yet another offering from that Sneaky Adventurous Mischief-maker, my 'auspicions' have been confirmed.

1